"In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Employees who use the Internet from their workstations need to be identified and punished if we are to reduce the number of work hours spent on personal or recreational activities, such as shopping or playing games. By installing software to detect employees' Internet use on company computers, we can prevent employees from wasting time, foster a better work ethic at Climpson, and improve our overall profits." Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author argues that installing detecting software to all company computers will increase the productivity of employees and the firm’s overall profits. It seems plausible because the author show apparently compelling logic and examples to strengthen his/her argument. However, this asssertion is rfie with holes and assumptions, not thus, strong enough to lead the company’s president to implementing this new policy in it.
First, the author presumes that implementing electronic monitoring of employees’ internet is the only and the most effective way to enhance the worker’s performance. However, one may cast doubt on the efficiency of this new trial because the visualization, which makes us better to understand about the result of improved productivity, cannot be achieved by that way. For example, 360 degree feedback by their colleagues and their bosses may be more helpful to show how changed the workers’ competence. Besides, this feedback may be more telling method to augment the entire productivity of the firm. A reasonable incentive will motivate the workers to work harder than before, and retraining programs to laborers with relatively inferior work performance will also beneficial to increase their efficiency. To sum up, the author may need to reconsider that this monitoring policy is the only possible, effective option to enhance the employee’s productivity in Climpson.
Second, the author assumes that personal or recreational activities are entirely harmful to improve productivity and workers’ performance. It may be sound, however, enough break time during their work is likely to revitalize the workers and reduce the fatigue and boredom coming from the continuous working. In fact, lots of companies in the world encourage workers to enjoy some kinds of group activities at working time to improve the comradeship with their teammates, which will benefit to co-work and then increase the working performance. Mild physical exercises such as walking, table tennis or billiards can also refresh the employees and make them concentrate in office hours. Playing computer games or shopping may not be the case that can be sorted in positive examples of activity. Rather, the author is strongly recommended to introduce such mentioned group activities to improve the employees’ productivity, not thinking that only working is the efficacious way to make more revenue in the firm.
Finally, the author suggests that installing software to detect employee’s internet use on company computers can really foster a better work ethic and profits at Climpson Industries. It seems plausible that preventing wasting time used for personal works during office hour will set the work ethic up correctly. However, this way, monitoring employees’ entire action during the work hours, is very unethical and unmoral because this policy has a serious problem with violations of human rights and personal areas, which have to be protected from any external forces, even the government. If this ridiculous implementation is actually realized, the work ethic at Climpson may be collapsed and and the company may be accused of the law. Furthermore, if there are wasted time for personal activities during service, early quitting time at work may be more advantageous to increase the overall profits at Climpson. Reducing working time due to that reason will not decrease the productivity in the company and rather increase net profit from dropped giving wage to the workers for the decline of work hours. Besides, the workers may be able to take enough rest or using the times with family of friends as they have lots of time after work, which are likely to energize them for work. In summary, the author should contemplate the properness of that policy, monitoring the employees’ by computer software.
In conclusion, the author’s claim that watching and evaluating the employees’ all activities during work hours will surely improve the productivity and profits at Climpson cannot be fully agreed with. Improved productivity and profits are clearly the most beneficial and significant matter in all businesses. However, the mentioned implementation by the author is not the proper one for it because this may violate the basic human rights of the employees and actually reduce the productivity due to permanent works making extreme fatigue. The author should consider another options to achieve his/her goal and those are already easily found in many companies in the world.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 704 350
No. of Characters: 3708 1500
No. of Different Words: 307 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.151 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.267 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.757 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 300 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 230 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 156 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 101 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.074 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.149 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.302 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.481 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.106 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 826, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'recommended introducing'.
Suggestion: recommended introducing
...ctivity. Rather, the author is strongly recommended to introduce such mentioned group activities to impr...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 690, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: and
...work ethic at Climpson may be collapsed and and the company may be accused of the law. ...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, apparently, besides, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, really, second, so, then, thus, for example, in conclusion, in fact, in summary, such as, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 26.0 12.9520958084 201% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 27.0 11.1786427146 242% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 40.0 28.8173652695 139% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 90.0 55.5748502994 162% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3821.0 2260.96107784 169% => OK
No of words: 702.0 441.139720559 159% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.44301994302 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.14735685561 4.56307096286 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8988239986 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 318.0 204.123752495 156% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452991452991 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 1185.3 705.55239521 168% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 43.3264318657 57.8364921388 75% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.518518519 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.0 23.324526521 111% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.77777777778 5.70786347227 119% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 18.0 8.20758483034 219% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196448889696 0.218282227539 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0653508877462 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0421454194764 0.0701772020484 60% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.123090093269 0.128457276422 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0376302079715 0.0628817314937 60% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.2 14.3799401198 120% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 36.63 48.3550499002 76% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.6 12.197005988 120% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.57 12.5979740519 116% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.93 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 178.0 98.500998004 181% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 15.0 11.9071856287 126% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.