The following appeared in a health magazine."The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a health magazine.

"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

A health magazine presented a conclusion that the citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. It carries out this conclusion based on three evidences: first is a recent survey which shows that citizens' eating habits more closely conform to governmental nutrition recommendations than they did ten years ago. The second evidence is the increase in sales of food products containing kiran. The third evidence is a decrease in sales of sulia. However, all these three evidences are not sufficient in supporting the magazine' conclusion, and further evidences are needed to show a more comprehensive picture.

First type of evidence that we need is related to the recent survey, Although the magazine contends that respondents’ eating habits are more closely conform to governmental nutritional recommendations, this conclusion is too hasty, and we need further detail to confirm this survey. How many people have separately responded to these two surveys? It is fully possible that there were less than thirty people who answered to each survey. if it is this case, according to the research criterion, these two surveys can be proved. If the magazine can prove that both two survey has asked over thirty people, the conclusion that the magazine has presented is valid and supported. On contrast, we need to re-analyze citizens' eating habits.

Second type of evidence that the magazine fails to show is about the increase in sales of food products containing kiran. A single evidence of increase in sales is too scant to support the magazine's statement. We require other evidence to analyze more precisely the citizens' cholesterol. First is why citizens buy that much food products containing kiran? Maybe there are more citizens than ten years ago who suffer from the disease of over-cholesterol. They are recommended and forced to buy these products as their doctors demanded. Even if they are not suffering from that type of disease and/or they voluntarily buy food containing kiran, there is no evidence that they will eat them regularly. It is fully possible that they just buy them and put them in the corner of the kitchen and never eat them. Hence, if any of the above-mentioned supposition proved be true, the conclusion about citizens' more healthy eating habits is unsubstantiated.

Third type of evidence is about the reduced sales of sulia. Similarly, a simple evidence of reduced sales of sulia is not tenable and strong enough to suggest that citizens eat fewer unhealthy product today than ten years before, as we do not know whether sulia is the only unhealthy food products or not. Even though that citizens eat less sulia, there is no evidence can prove that they do not eat other unhealthy food, such as French fries, fried chickens, extremely sweet desserts. If any evidence proves that citizens replace sulia with another unhealthy products, then we cannot carry out the conclusion that people do have a healthier eating pattern. In contrast, the magazine's conclusion is buttressed.

In sum, although the magazine asserts that people today adopted more healthful lifestyles, the evidence that it presented is scant and unsubstantiated. Any evidence that can provide more details about the recent survey, the reason account for increasing sales of kiran and the reduced sales of sulia, can extremely support or weaken the magazine's conclusion.

Votes
Average: 2.6 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 443, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...rty people who answered to each survey. if it is this case, according to the resea...
^^
Line 9, column 190, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'magazines'' or 'magazine's'?
Suggestion: magazines'; magazine's
...se in sales is too scant to support the magazines statement. We require other evidence to...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 267, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'citizens'' or 'citizen's'?
Suggestion: citizens'; citizen's
... evidence to analyze more precisely the citizens cholesterol. First is why citizens buy ...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 676, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'magazines'' or 'magazine's'?
Suggestion: magazines'; magazine's
...lthier eating pattern. In contrast, the magazines conclusion is buttressed. In sum,...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 17, column 338, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'magazines'' or 'magazine's'?
Suggestion: magazines'; magazine's
...ia, can extremely support or weaken the magazines conclusion.
^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, hence, however, if, may, second, similarly, so, then, third, in contrast, such as

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 51.0 28.8173652695 177% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 16.0 16.3942115768 98% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2860.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 545.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 5.24770642202 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83169070408 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84350157736 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 226.0 204.123752495 111% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.414678899083 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 907.2 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 27.0 19.7664670659 137% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.760789031 57.8364921388 107% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.925925926 119.503703932 89% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.1851851852 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.44444444444 5.70786347227 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 14.0 4.67664670659 299% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.26571674809 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0795075358013 0.0743258471296 107% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0854279637485 0.0701772020484 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170067790247 0.128457276422 132% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0841111020529 0.0628817314937 134% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.4 14.3799401198 93% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 117.0 98.500998004 119% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.5 12.3882235529 69% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 546 350
No. of Characters: 2777 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.834 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.086 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.728 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 201 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 117 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 64 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.156 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.615 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.164 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5