The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
As per mentioned in the health newspaper, author of the article suggests the educational program, which needs to be launched to reduce the count of accidents, caused because of rash riding of the bicycle riders. As per the two surveys, author also claims that the number of riders, who use the helmets have dramatically increased in a last decade. Hence, they are more prone to take risks, being overconfident while riding the bicycles on the roads. Though taking precautionary actions to reduce accidents is good, there are couple of unwarranted assumptions the author has made. Below three questions, which need to be asked to make the decision whether above recommendation is reasonable or not.
First, author of the newsletter assumes that the observations from both the studies over 10 years of period are unbiased and without any flaws. In other words, over last ten years, the methods of collecting data for these types of studies might have been changed drastically. Therefore, how does the author can trace the authenticity of these surveys? Additionally, only 35% of the riders reported that they wore helmets. However, remaining 65% cyclists might not have shown interests for this survey. If it is true, then this study doesn’t hold a merit while considering nationwide situations for causes of an increased rate in accidents.
Secondly, author prematurely assumes that the cause of an increase of accidents is that cyclists feel much safer by wearing helmets than when they don’t wear them, and they are provocative to take risks while riding, which sounds quite unfair because nobody deliberately makes accidents happen. The other reasons for accidents are also important and need to be considered such as, what if conditions of riding lanes/roads are harmful? What are traffic situations at city or rural areas? It could also be a purely coincidence that, accidents happened in the past where couple of bicycle riders were involved, while surveys were being conducted. If this is considered as a truth, then author’s recommendation will be significantly weakened.
Finally, it is a good approach that government looks forward to reducing the hazardous accidents by promoting the bicycle safety program but does this program guarantee the success of mass reduction of accidents,caused by bicyclists? Accidents may happen even after successful completion of the program by bicyclists. Furthermore, Author also assumes that all the bicyclists are interested to attend the program regardless of the details of the same. There are not enough guidelines about the safety program arranged by government such as how it will be conducted? whether it is paid program or free one?
To conclude, a call for the government to decrease the number of injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety is a better approach but certainly above questions need to be answered to make a firm decision about launching this program.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 491 350
No. of Characters: 2490 1500
No. of Different Words: 250 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.707 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.071 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.759 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 139 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 72 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.381 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.798 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.287 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e recommendation is reasonable or not. First, author of the newsletter assumes ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ses of an increased rate in accidents. Secondly, author prematurely assumes tha...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 531, Rule ID: A_RB_NN[1]
Message: You used an adverb ('purely') instead an adjective, or a noun ('coincidence') instead of another adjective.
...t city or rural areas? It could also be a purely coincidence that, accidents happened in the past wh...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ation will be significantly weakened. Finally, it is a good approach that gove...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 239, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , caused
...e success of mass reduction of accidents,caused by bicyclists? Accidents may happen eve...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 594, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Whether
...nment such as how it will be conducted? whether it is paid program or free one? ...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ether it is paid program or free one? To conclude, a call for the government t...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, look, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, while, such as, in other words, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2558.0 2260.96107784 113% => OK
No of words: 487.0 441.139720559 110% => OK
Chars per words: 5.25256673511 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.69766713281 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.8823059808 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.535934291581 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 794.7 705.55239521 113% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 74.0788752079 57.8364921388 128% => OK
Chars per sentence: 116.272727273 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.1363636364 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.90909090909 5.70786347227 121% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.132577370496 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0332882843957 0.0743258471296 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0337620469665 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0701164990509 0.128457276422 55% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0255977735119 0.0628817314937 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.17 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.