The following appeared in a health newsletter A ten year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets whereas today that number i

Essay topics:

The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this passage, the author recommends launching a education program for reducing of bicycle accidents, because such suggestion would better function than wearing helmets. To support his/her claim, the author cites statistics about people who wear helmets and accidental rate related with bicycle. Quite reasonable though such recommendation appears at first glance, there exists several questions regarding his/her line of reasoning that requires further analysis. Thus, the author's recommendation could become either tenable or groundless, depending on the answers to the questions.

To start off, the author's reasoning heavily relies on whether people taking helmet actually increase drastically, a question that is not yet answered. It is likely that the absolute number of wearing helmets are still limited, because we are uncertain about exactly number of bicyclists for the past and nowadays. Without additional information to evaluate such basic information, it is of equal probability that total number of bicyclists for today and the past are under the same low level. Such phenomenon could seriously challenge the viewpoint that more bicyclists wear helmets and render his/her claim much less advisable. On the contrary, any valid proof that there more much more number of bicyclists today than the past could strengthen his/her viewpoint.

Granted that total number of bicyclists increase significantly and given the fact of increasing percentage of bicycle accidents, whether wearing helmet lead to such phenomenon needs a second look. Behind the author's reasoning lie two critical implications. The first implication is that the number accidents of bicycles are already at a tremendous level and the increasing 200 percentage of accidents means a too serious situation. The probability that such accidents actually happened infrequently should be considered and addressed. Yet, if the author could unambiguously proves that bicycle accidents are already reaching the degree of reaching higher level in history, his/her viewpoint will gain more weights.

Furthermore, the second implication is that major reason of those collected accidents is attributed to bicyclists. While such reasoning seems tenable, the probability that other factors might trigger the aforementioned incidents could not be excluded in advance. For example, such accidents are actually caused by the careless car drivers or pupils who traverse street blindly. Thus, we have no clues whether drivers or other subjects should take responsibility of majority of incidents. If no, bicyclists wearing helmets is unlikely to the root cause of such accidents and therefore we should focus on educating them for declining accident number. Otherwise, dedication of more effort in the hope for less accidents could be expected.

Last but not least, while we can admit for a moment that people who wear helmets drive adventurously might trigger more accidents mentioned above, it remains to be seen whether a education program could work much better than wearing helmet nowadays. Other factors, such as the attitude of trainee for such education, side effect after removal of helmet, could seriously impact the result of such suggestion. If majority of bicyclists are illiterate that can't receive sufficient training to avoid accidents, or people might suffer more hurts and give rise to accident after absolving with safeguard of helmets, this is doubtful that such advice could work much better than current protection under helmets.

In summary, while wearing helmet might lead to carelessness of people during driving and increasing accidental rates, this is a conclusion that we can not derive from the information available in the argument. Furthermore, even if it is, whether we should resort to a education program for further reduction of bicycle accidents is still built upon implications, which are open to different probabilities. Only after the aforementioned questions are adequately addressed can we effectively evaluate such recommendation and reach a logically sound conclusion.

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Average: 7.3 (2 votes)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 50, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...assage, the author recommends launching a education program for reducing of bicyc...
^
Line 1, column 477, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...at requires further analysis. Thus, the authors recommendation could become either tena...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 116, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... helmet actually increase drastically, a question that is not yet answered. It is...
^^
Line 5, column 575, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: 'prove'
Suggestion: prove
... Yet, if the author could unambiguously proves that bicycle accidents are already reac...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 703, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun accidents is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...dication of more effort in the hope for less accidents could be expected. Last bu...
^^^^
Line 9, column 178, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ed above, it remains to be seen whether a education program could work much bette...
^
Line 9, column 455, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...ority of bicyclists are illiterate that cant receive sufficient training to avoid ac...
^^^^
Line 11, column 267, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...n if it is, whether we should resort to a education program for further reduction...
^
Line 11, column 329, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r further reduction of bicycle accidents is still built upon implications, which ...
^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, first, furthermore, if, look, regarding, second, so, still, then, therefore, thus, while, for example, in summary, such as, on the contrary

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 20.0 13.6137724551 147% => OK
Pronoun: 42.0 28.8173652695 146% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 71.0 55.5748502994 128% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3472.0 2260.96107784 154% => OK
No of words: 614.0 441.139720559 139% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.65472312704 5.12650576532 110% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.977853291 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.91975712987 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 297.0 204.123752495 145% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.483713355049 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 1069.2 705.55239521 152% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 7.0 4.22255489022 166% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.0833128225 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 133.538461538 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.6153846154 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.92307692308 5.70786347227 104% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 14.0 6.88822355289 203% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.156760103597 0.218282227539 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0501647148573 0.0743258471296 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0506018888441 0.0701772020484 72% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0954571453079 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0348057916581 0.0628817314937 55% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.0 14.3799401198 118% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.79 12.5979740519 125% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.97 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 163.0 98.500998004 165% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Write the essay in 30 minutes.

Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 619 350
No. of Characters: 3394 1500
No. of Different Words: 286 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.483 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.844 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 274 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 217 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 152 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 113 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.808 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.134 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.731 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.17 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5