The following appeared in a health newsletter."A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that numbe

Wearing helmets during bicycle rides can prevent injuries. In the preceding newsletter, the writer emphasized the need for the government more to educate people about bicycle safety than tu urge them on the benefits of wearing helmet. To reinforce his claim, two studies have been cited: the first which nationwide study observed a significant rise in number of riders using helmets in the past 10 years, and the other which concluded that there were 200% more bicyle related accidents during this period. Though the argument may have merit, the hypothesis constitutes of poorly reasoned premises and assumptions, weakened by logical flaws, lacking proper evidentiary support, and based solely on the explications offered, the argument is invalid.

The primary issue with the argument is the lack of substantiatory evidence. Though, there is mention of two studies that had some conclusions pertinent to bicycle riders; sample population demographics, sample size of the study, presence of control group is not mentioned. While, both these surveys were conducted in the past 10 year time span, whether or not these considered the same, or even similar population has to be condsidered as well. The lack of substantiation weakens his claim.

In addition, the author further weakens his stance by making several questionable assumptions. The second survey concluded about the rising number of bicycle related accidents, without discussing about the possible cause of these incidents. Perhaps, the roads were not smooth for travel, or the weather was quite foggy unsuitable for cycling in the region the study was conducted. It maybe the case that the primary cause of these accidents were bad car drivers, or lorry drivers, or both. Without addressing these possibilities, the author is simply extrapolating inferences from suspicious data by precarious
premises.

Granted that the offered conjecture lacks robustness, it is not to say that the entire argument is without merit. The author can significantly improve his claim by providing proper evidence. In addition, all the underlying assumptions that he uses in order to make the final conclusion should be laid out comprehensively. The lack of quantification in the studies cited above should also be resolved to further ameliorate the claim. Finally, to present a cogent argument to the reader he must explicate the implication of why the goverment should urge people to educate people about bicycle safety than on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets, using his insightful analysis.

In sum, the illogical argument in the newsletter has numerous shortcomings. To convince the readers, the writer must be rephrase the argument, fix the logical flaws, offer reasonable justifications for the assumptions inherent in his claim and provide authentic proof to buttress the same. Without making amends to the aforementioned draft, the author is likely to persuade a few people.

Votes
Average: 5.4 (3 votes)
Essay Categories

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 558, Rule ID: CONSTITUTES_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'consists of'?
Suggestion: consists of
...argument may have merit, the hypothesis constitutes of poorly reasoned premises and assumption...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 340, Rule ID: CD_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun 'span' seems to be countable, so consider using: 'spans'.
Suggestion: spans
...were conducted in the past 10 year time span, whether or not these considered the sa...
^^^^
Line 3, column 346, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...onducted in the past 10 year time span, whether or not these considered the same, or even simi...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, second, so, then, well, while, as to, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 20.0 16.3942115768 122% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2498.0 2260.96107784 110% => OK
No of words: 458.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.45414847162 5.12650576532 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9416371876 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 254.0 204.123752495 124% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.554585152838 0.468620217663 118% => OK
syllable_count: 779.4 705.55239521 110% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 14.0 8.76447105788 160% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 64.1074070384 57.8364921388 111% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.952380952 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8095238095 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.04761904762 5.70786347227 71% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.103072382656 0.218282227539 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0272052492587 0.0743258471296 37% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0393091319266 0.0701772020484 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0528555874151 0.128457276422 41% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0420674331548 0.0628817314937 67% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.1 14.3799401198 105% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.33 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.47 8.32208582834 114% => OK
difficult_words: 139.0 98.500998004 141% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?

---------------------

Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Sentence: To reinforce his claim, two studies have been cited: the first which nationwide study observed a significant rise in number of riders using helmets in the past 10 years, and the other which concluded that there were 200 more bicyle related accidents during this period.
Error: bicyle Suggestion: bicycle

Sentence: While, both these surveys were conducted in the past 10 year time span, whether or not these considered the same, or even similar population has to be condsidered as well.
Error: condsidered Suggestion: considered

Sentence: Finally, to present a cogent argument to the reader he must explicate the implication of why the goverment should urge people to educate people about bicycle safety than on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets, using his insightful analysis.
Error: explicate Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: goverment Suggestion: government

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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2426 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.297 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.854 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 65 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.81 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.34 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.381 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.281 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.495 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.07 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5