The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Shop owners of Central Plaza believe skateboarders are the cause for steady decreases in sales and an increase in vandalism of the Plaza. Naturally, these store owners would like the skateboarders to be removed from the plaza. However, before a ban is implemented, there are several questions that must be answered before one can confidently state, with concrete evidence that a ban would indeed increase sales within Central Plaza.
The store owners are placing a lot of blame on the skateboarders. From their claims, it seems that they assume that the skateboarders themselves are the reason why shoppers no longer visit their stores. On top of that, the store owners seem to assume the skateboarders are also guilty of vandalizing the plaza, further deterring possible customers.
The first assumption I’d like to evaluate here is the store owners’ claim that the skateboarders are directly the cause of less foot traffic within their stores. A survey involving the public should be conducted which asks why individuals no longer shop at the plaza. This will tell us whether or not the skateboarders were a factor at all, and whether or not a ban is necessary. If survey participants report other reasons, such as high prices, a ban would not be effective at the plaza.
Another accusation that needs further development is the store owners’ associating the skateboarders with the vandalism within the plaza. Who is actually causing the damage? Obviously, vandalism will hurt sales, and it is understandable that the store owners would want the destruction of property to stop so the environment is more inviting, but actual evidence should be acquired before blaming the skateboards of the vandalism which is being used as fuel for the ban.
A final question I would like answered is how the sales of stores outside the plaza have changed over this two-year period. Are other stores struggling as well? And if so, do they also have skateboarders? If not, the lack of sales may be due to a wide-spread economic struggle that prevents past customers from engaging in their previous consumerism, and a ban on skateboards would have no effect on the plaza store owners’ sales.
While it makes sense that the store owners want to blame the skateboarders for their economic struggles, further evidence must be obtained before determining whether or not a ban would alleviate the issues at hand. It is suspicious that a rise in skateboarding within the plaza has occurred with a steady decrease in foot-traffic within the plaza, however this does not mean the skateboarding is the cause. Before implementing a ban, information from the customers themselves explaining the lack of shopping, as well as concrete proof that links skateboarders to the vandalism, and understanding the sales trends of other shops are needed.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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flaws:
the introduction and conclusion are too long.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2309 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.976 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.874 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 108 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 58 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.116 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.352 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.479 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 297, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...er shop at the plaza. This will tell us whether or not the skateboarders were a factor at all,...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 356, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...skateboarders were a factor at all, and whether or not a ban is necessary. If survey participa...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 159, Rule ID: WHETHER[7]
Message: Perhaps you can shorten this phrase to just 'whether'. It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Suggestion: whether
...nce must be obtained before determining whether or not a ban would alleviate the issues at han...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, however, if, may, so, well, while, such as, as well as, on top of that
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2388.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 463.0 441.139720559 105% => OK
Chars per words: 5.15766738661 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.63868890866 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98102948091 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464362850972 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 736.2 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.7017037095 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.4 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.15 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.9 5.70786347227 86% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 13.0 6.88822355289 189% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.263892695825 0.218282227539 121% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0916381617482 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0675134651182 0.0701772020484 96% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.154026242089 0.128457276422 120% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0605824546832 0.0628817314937 96% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.4 14.3799401198 100% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 98.500998004 107% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.