The following appeared as a letter to the editor of a national newspaper.
"Your recent article on corporate downsizing* in Elthyria maintains that the majority of competent workers who have lost jobs as a result of downsizing face serious economic hardship, often for years, before finding other suitable employment. But this claim is undermined by a recent report on the Elthyrian economy, which found that since 1999 far more jobs have been created than have been eliminated, bringing the unemployment rate in Elthyria to its lowest level in decades. Moreover, two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages, and the vast majority of these jobs are full-time."
*Downsizing is the process whereby corporations deliberately make themselves smaller, reducing the number of their employees.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
It seems to be logical, at first glance, to agree with the idea that downsizing in the Elthyria improves employees’ economic status. However, the argument relies on a couple of less credible evidence or even doubtful assumption to consolidate its stance. In what follows, I will elaborate on them in details.
The 1st problem with the argument is that it could not provide more information about jobs status before 1999. Maybe employee had more jobs opportunity before 1999 as compared with after these years. Therefore, maintain that rates of unemployment during one decade-after1999- without providing enough information before 1999 is a disingenuous issue. Furthermore, since 1999 the rates of jobs creating in each year is not elucidated by the argument. Maybe there were more jobs opportunities in some years as contrast with other years and vice versa. Although workers could find appropriates jobs during the years which had more jobs positions, they suffering economic crisis during unemployment years. Therefore, comparing workers’ status in terms of their jobs opportunity during one decade is a fallacious issue, and the argument had better provide details information about rates of job-creating every year during the cited decade.
Even we assuming that the author gives additional information about rates of jobs creating, there are other unanswered questions. The author averts that since most of the jobs pertained to industrious ones, and these kinds of works tend to pay more salaries for their employees, so the economic status of the workers have been improving. Actually, without providing more information about the characteristics of jobs and employment, this conclusion is questionable. Maybe the location of the jobs company is not accessible for most of the employee, and they force to pay more money to take a taxi or van or another public vehicle to go their jobs. Maybe most of the workers are not eager to go industrious jobs, and they are keen to go in other fields such as Agriculture, free business, and educational positions. Without knowing employee traits and their tendency about jobs, it is difficult to predict that existing more opportunities in the fields of industrious leads to increase workers’ economic status.
Even if we know employers and jobs positions’ traits and conditions, there are other flaws towards a correlation between career time and workers’ economic status. Human being has other parts of life such as family, emotion, social responsibilities, and he is not comparable with machines which could work for a long time without considering other fields of the lives. Maybe working for a full time have more profits, yet it also has other disadvantages. For instance, working for a full time makes people sensible and skittish. In this scenario, they do not have more eager to spend time with their family and be friendly with them. Maybe, some employee is not eager to works for full-time since they are careful about their health and other parts of their life. Maybe some employee has educational or other scientific classes, and they only could work for part-time. Therefore, citing full time of the job opportunities does not mean that it improves employee economic status.
To evaluate this argument, we require to have additional information. The first pieces of information we need is the rates of jobs creating during the time. To better assessment, we also require to know more about jobs and employee conditions. Finally, to improve the argument as a whole, it is greatly recommended pay attention to human being needs including economic and noneconomic ones.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
also need to argue:
two-thirds of these newly created jobs have been in industries that tend to pay above-average wages,
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 28 15
No. of Words: 583 350
No. of Characters: 2973 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.914 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.099 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.755 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 71 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.821 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.474 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.571 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.183 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 564, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'paying'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'force' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: paying
...or most of the employee, and they force to pay more money to take a taxi or van or ano...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 398, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...ields of the lives. Maybe working for a full time have more profits, yet it also has othe...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 492, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...advantages. For instance, working for a full time makes people sensible and skittish. In ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 680, Rule ID: EAGER_TO[1]
Message: With 'eager to', use the base form of the verb: 'work'.
Suggestion: work
...m. Maybe, some employee is not eager to works for full-time since they are careful ab...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 896, Rule ID: EN_COMPOUNDS
Message: This word is normally spelled as one.
Suggestion: fulltime
...d work for part-time. Therefore, citing full time of the job opportunities does not mean ...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 196, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'knowing'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: knowing
.... To better assessment, we also require to know more about jobs and employee conditions...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, therefore, for instance, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 23.0 11.1786427146 206% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 86.0 55.5748502994 155% => OK
Nominalization: 23.0 16.3942115768 140% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3075.0 2260.96107784 136% => OK
No of words: 583.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 5.27444253859 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91379618374 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96040378951 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 258.0 204.123752495 126% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442538593482 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 959.4 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 8.0 1.67365269461 478% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 10.0 4.22255489022 237% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 28.0 19.7664670659 142% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.0348138003 57.8364921388 80% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.821428571 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8214285714 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.53571428571 5.70786347227 62% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0950989797427 0.218282227539 44% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.031602950426 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0262620085569 0.0701772020484 37% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0601522073411 0.128457276422 47% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0131900211349 0.0628817314937 21% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.12 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 129.0 98.500998004 131% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.