The following appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.
"Because of its spectacular natural beauty and consistent climate, Clearview should be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire. As a bonus, housing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, and real estate taxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Nevertheless, Clearview's mayor promises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services. Retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care as they grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater than the national average."
The author of the magazine article insinuates that Clearview should be close to utopian destination for anyone in look out for a place to retire. The author is convinced that the natural beauty and consistent climate coupled with the purported lower housing costs, improvement of schools, streets, public services and probable availability of a good health care infrastructure might be a perfect location for a retired person. The author seems to have based his arguments in the article over some unwarranted assumptions that needs to be clarified or answered to make a cogent case to its readers.
Firstly, the author states that the housing costs have flagged over the past year and have comparatively lower real estate taxes than the neighbouring towns. The author fails to quantify the costs of the housing and the real estate taxes by not providing us with any substantial statistical data to base the comparisons on. Perhaps the neighbouring town's real estate taxes and the past housing costs were staggering and though Clearview might have a lower cost, the discrepancy might be minuscule. Without the above mentioned data the terms like 'lower' are vague and provides the readers with no meaningful information. The author must investigate and present to us some data on which we can base the comparisons that have been made.
Secondly, the author seems to rely on the promise of the Mayor of Clearview regarding the amelioration of the schools, streets and public services. It is possible that the project of uplifting the public services have a prolonged schedule or is based on residential reviews and requests. Perhaps, only those parts of Clearview will get revamped where the majority of residents have reported for a upgradation. The author should provide more information about the mayor's promises if applicable or might discard this particular argument as it wouldn't no promising and positive effect on the reader.
Lastly, the author assumes that the high number of physicians directly correlates to an excellent health care system for the aged. Perhaps, a majority of the physicians who reside in Clearview have retired or are not licensed to practice in Clearview. It is possible that even though the number of physicians in Clearview is far greater than the national average, but not all are offering their services, or are authorised to offer their services. This assumption undermines the argument as it tries to convey to the readers of a presence of a quixotic health care system.
In conclusion, the argument stands weak based on the above reasons. The author must investigate the previous year's housing costs, the real estate taxes of the neighbouring towns and provide the reader with more data for a meaningful comparison. The author needs to provide more information regarding the mayor's promises and carry out surveys in Clearview to find out the actual number of physicians who are offering their services to come to a conclusion about the native healthcare system. In my opinion if these suggestions are considered the author can make a cogent case to the readers of the magazine.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 510 350
No. of Characters: 2569 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.752 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.037 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.75 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 103 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.096 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.45 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.334 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 428, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... perfect location for a retired person. The author seems to have based his argument...
^^^
Line 2, column 106, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'lowed', 'lowered'.
Suggestion: lowed; lowered
...er the past year and have comparatively lower real estate taxes than the neighbouring...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 395, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...majority of residents have reported for a upgradation. The author should provide ...
^
Line 3, column 541, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wouldn't
... discard this particular argument as it wouldnt no promising and positive effect on the...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, if, lastly, look, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, in conclusion, in my opinion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 19.6327345309 87% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2607.0 2260.96107784 115% => OK
No of words: 509.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12180746562 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80200290413 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.447937131631 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 821.7 705.55239521 116% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.9535941116 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 130.35 119.503703932 109% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.45 23.324526521 109% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.25 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.236909287808 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0726747741771 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0764751815695 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140314075286 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0905298294759 0.0628817314937 144% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.63 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 98.500998004 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.