"Because of television and worldwide computer connections, people can now become familiar
with a great many places that they have never visited. As a result, tourism will soon become
obsolete."
Are we really so indulged in our torpor that the sense of sight and vision will be enough for us to satiate our desires of visiting someplace, while the other senses stay longing for their commensurate share of stimuli? Human beings have always been wanderers and we have treaded that Earth and when the Earth couldn't be enough we landed our men on the moon. The claim that the emergence and advancement of television and worldwide computer connections might snub the tourism industry is a hyperbole with no bounds. I beg to differ strongly from this opinion and my reasons are expatiated below.
The Sense of Sight is not enough for any individual to truely experience a location. Without the other senses receiving their fair share of stimuli from the location or surroundings the human brain fails to reach the level of Elysian it would have had it been actually in the location rather than viewing it through screens. It has been elucidated in studies that a evanescent ecstasy and related emotions are experienced by the viewer when they are shown images of certain locations of ethereal beauty, but the brain is evolved enough to distinguish reality from a mere simulacrum. In the abscence stimuli to other sensory organs the brain fails to hold or maintain the state of delectation for a longer period of time, but has no problem in maintaining it for longer durations when at the actual locations. The vision is bolstered by the other senses and the overall impression that it has on the brain is tremendous. Thus, viewing locations of tourist attractions and scenic beauty will not be enough for an individual to give up on the actual travelling.
The television and worldwide computer connections helps people discover newer places and review other people's travels to make better decisions for their own adventures. The increased accessibility of information about tourist locations and the new places that are being discovered as possible tourist spots, thanks to the advancements in television and worldwide computer connections facilitate the effective planning for tourists and wanderers. It helps people to put up their reviews of a certain place on the public domain for other people to make better and informed decisions. This not only increases the efficacy of travel plans, but also the safety standards based on the past bad happenstances that might have happened to some travelers. Thus the technological advancement is rather beneficial for the avid travellers, promoting tourism.
The technological advancements are beneficial for the tourism agencies in connecting with tourists and advertising their favourite and suggested locations. For example a tourist company can advertise their lodging and accommodation facilities in a Television commercial, which wold increase their visibility to the public. The companies can use the worldwide computer connections to improve their tourist booking facilities by encouraging bookings to be done via online and prior to the visits saving a lot of time and money for the tourist and to ensure a hassle free experiece for both the consumers and themselves.
In a nutshell, the advancements in television and worldwide computer conenctions would rather have an ecumenical positive effect on the tourism industry rather than obsolete thus rendering the claim hyperbolic. The only people that would be relying on these means to experience a place would most probably be elder people and physically hamstrung people who might not be able to visit these place in person. Other than this fraction of the global population the majority of the population would be even more encouraged to explore the world with newer places to discover and share with others.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 311, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...e treaded that Earth and when the Earth couldnt be enough we landed our men on the moon...
^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 364, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... It has been elucidated in studies that a evanescent ecstasy and related emotions...
^
Line 2, column 705, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...n the state of delectation for a longer period of time, but has no problem in maintaining it f...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 746, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... might have happened to some travelers. Thus the technological advancement is rather...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, really, so, thus, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.4196629213 97% => OK
Conjunction : 30.0 14.8657303371 202% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 13.0 11.3162921348 115% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 33.0505617978 118% => OK
Preposition: 76.0 58.6224719101 130% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 12.9106741573 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3121.0 2235.4752809 140% => OK
No of words: 601.0 442.535393258 136% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19301164725 5.05705443957 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.95129289623 4.55969084622 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84932326744 2.79657885939 102% => OK
Unique words: 284.0 215.323595506 132% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.472545757072 0.4932671777 96% => OK
syllable_count: 982.8 704.065955056 140% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 9.0 4.99550561798 180% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 3.10617977528 32% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.77640449438 169% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.38483146067 68% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 20.2370786517 104% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 23.0359550562 122% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 59.4513845102 60.3974514979 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.619047619 118.986275619 125% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.619047619 23.4991977007 122% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.90476190476 5.21951772744 56% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 7.80617977528 51% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 15.0 10.2758426966 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.83258426966 62% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.184272214679 0.243740707755 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0593138733064 0.0831039109588 71% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0541271572626 0.0758088955206 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.112042603169 0.150359130593 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0508154497779 0.0667264976115 76% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.3 14.1392134831 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.8420337079 88% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.92365168539 141% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.1743820225 117% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.41 12.1639044944 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.26 8.38706741573 110% => OK
difficult_words: 161.0 100.480337079 160% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 11.8971910112 118% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.2143820225 118% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.7820224719 119% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.