The following appeared in a memo to the board of directors of Bargain Brand Cereals.
"One year ago we introduced our first product, Bargain Brand breakfast cereal. Our very low
prices quickly drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal companies. Although
the companies producing the top brands have since tried to compete with us by lowering their
prices and although several plan to introduce their own budget brands, not once have we
needed to raise our prices to continue making a profit. Given our success in selling cereal, we
recommend that Bargain Brand now expand it
On the ground of the recommendation from the directors of Bargain Brand Cereals, expanding its business and begin marketing other low-priced food products will continue make a profit. However, the conclusion is valid at first glimpse, it has several questions and flaws after scrutinizing, which the author should provide more information and details to substantiate the assumption.
Firstly, the author confidently claims that they drew many customers away from the top-selling cereal companies. Do they really appeal many customers from these companies due to the low price? Probably no, in all likelihood, the top-selling companies are suffering the impact of the product’s quality, which cause some customers abandon the production and choose the Bargain Brand breakfast cereal instead. The company is actually not appeal customers, if the top-selling company rebuild the qualify and the confidence of the customer, the Bargain Brand will lost them possibly,which can not call the company’s success.Therefore, the directors should make more surveys and studies about the top-selling companies to sustain the reliability and accuracy of the conclusion.
Secondly, even if the author provide with the decisions of other companies that attain more customers and increase their competition in the market as the reason of the company’s success, it still contains some questions which need to be answered. These decisions, such as decreasing prices, might have no relationship with Bargain Brand. For example, these companies belong to another advanced markets, and the Bargain Brand Cereals lies in the low markets, their decisions and strategies will not impact each other. Thus, it can not regard as a reason of justifying the success of Bargain Brand Cereals.
Moreover, the author assumes that the new low-price food products and expand its business will make a profit. But not every product is suitable for low-price, especially the product that will cost a lot, such as chocolate, meet, if these products are in a low price, the customer is likely to consider the quality of these products and suspect ingredients with many additives, which is unhealthy to body and cause the lost of customers. In a nutshell, the company will not make any profit, even go bankrupt.
Consequently, the directors of the Bargain Brand Cereals should solve these questions and guarantee the conclusion’s authority before the new low-price product are marketed.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 2017 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.28 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.706 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 159 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 87 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.053 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.786 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.374 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.374 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.109 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 488, Rule ID: A_INFINITVE[1]
Message: Probably a wrong construction: a/the + infinitive
...ers, if the top-selling company rebuild the qualify and the confidence of the customer, the...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 559, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'lose'
Suggestion: lose
...of the customer, the Bargain Brand will lost them possibly,which can not call the co...
^^^^
Line 2, column 577, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , which
...he Bargain Brand will lost them possibly,which can not call the company’s success.Ther...
^^^^^^
Line 2, column 619, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Therefore
...hich can not call the company’s success.Therefore, the directors should make more surveys...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, consequently, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, really, second, secondly, so, still, therefore, thus, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2078.0 2260.96107784 92% => OK
No of words: 380.0 441.139720559 86% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.46842105263 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.41515443553 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94687495869 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 204.123752495 93% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.497368421053 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 618.3 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 88.7749964799 57.8364921388 153% => OK
Chars per sentence: 148.428571429 119.503703932 124% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.1428571429 23.324526521 116% => OK
Discourse Markers: 10.1428571429 5.70786347227 178% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.34891252142 0.218282227539 160% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.135027375262 0.0743258471296 182% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0800277958638 0.0701772020484 114% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.206242031601 0.128457276422 161% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0882412078748 0.0628817314937 140% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.9 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.74 12.5979740519 117% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.96 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.