The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview. "It is time for the city of Grandview to stop funding the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. It is true that the symphony struggled financially for many years, but last year private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. In addition, the symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author's argument which recommens the elimination of the funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget is flawed. The author have to answer certain questions to evaluate if this recommendation could work. In what follows, I will explain them.
First, the author is saying that private contributions increased by 200 percent the last year. Although that 200 percent seems to be a great number, the truth is that it is just a relative change with respect to the previous year. If the private contributions were originally only one dollar, and then they increased to three dollars, the relative increase is 200 percent, but the absolute value is really poor. So, the author should find the absolute value rather than the relative value. This example has shown that great relative increases do not imply great absolute increases. In additon, the author is also saying that the attendance doubled, but, once againg, we do not know the real value. Having an initial amount of viewers of 10 and then pass to 20 viewers is duplicating the attendance, but 20 people is probably a low number for an concert.
Second, the author is relying that the increase in ticket prices for the next year will increase the Orchestra profits. This is a fallacy because one cannot say that an increase in prices will produce an increase in attendance. Moreover, according to the supply and demand law, an increase in price when everthing else remains constant, will produce a redunction in the demand. Consequently, if, for example, the show quality has not be enhance to find more viewers, the sales of the next year will be probably lower than those of this year. So, the author should ask if the clients would be damand the show anyway paying higher ticket prices.
Third, the author is not seeing that the people's preferences could change in the future. He is assuming that even more people will go to see the Orchestra the years to come. But he should investigate the music market and the competition. Perhaps, new rock and roll bands will appear, changing people likes. This could cause a reduction in ticket sales as well. If this happened, it would be useful to have some money put aside in the buget to deal with a black swan. Consequently, the author should do a marketing evaluation first before to stop the funding.
To conclude, the author's argumentation could be strenghthened is the author shows which are the absolute numbers of private contributions and the Orchestra's viewers. Furthermore, the argument could also be strenghthened if the author provides a better maketing and economical studies of music market in order to see if an increase in prices is profitable or not. As it stands, however, the argumentation is flawed for the reasons indicated.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The author's argument which recommens the elimination of the funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget is flawed.
Error: recommens Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In additon, the author is also saying that the attendance doubled, but, once againg, we do not know the real value.
Error: againg Suggestion: aging
Error: additon Suggestion: addition
Sentence: Moreover, according to the supply and demand law, an increase in price when everthing else remains constant, will produce a redunction in the demand.
Error: everthing Suggestion: everything
Error: redunction Suggestion: reduction
Sentence: So, the author should ask if the clients would be damand the show anyway paying higher ticket prices.
Error: damand Suggestion: demand
Sentence: If this happened, it would be useful to have some money put aside in the buget to deal with a black swan.
Error: buget Suggestion: budget
Sentence: To conclude, the author's argumentation could be strenghthened is the author shows which are the absolute numbers of private contributions and the Orchestra's viewers.
Error: strenghthened Suggestion: strengthened
Sentence: Furthermore, the argument could also be strenghthened if the author provides a better maketing and economical studies of music market in order to see if an increase in prices is profitable or not.
Error: strenghthened Suggestion: strengthened
Error: maketing Suggestion: marketing
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 9 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 468 350
No. of Characters: 2248 1500
No. of Different Words: 220 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.651 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.803 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.612 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 171 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 112 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 74 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.72 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.925 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.72 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.283 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.485 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 5, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
The authors argument which recommens the eliminatio...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 843, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
... 20 people is probably a low number for an concert. Second, the author is relyi...
^^
Line 5, column 435, Rule ID: HAVE_PART_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: 'been'.
Suggestion: been
..., for example, the show quality has not be enhance to find more viewers, the sales...
^^
Line 9, column 18, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...o stop the funding. To conclude, the authors argumentation could be strenghthened is...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, anyway, but, consequently, first, furthermore, however, if, moreover, really, second, so, then, third, well, for example, with respect to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 25.0 19.6327345309 127% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2314.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 468.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 4.94444444444 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65116196802 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.68432883637 2.78398813304 96% => OK
Unique words: 228.0 204.123752495 112% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.487179487179 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 700.2 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 17.0 8.76447105788 194% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.2838727036 57.8364921388 70% => OK
Chars per sentence: 92.56 119.503703932 77% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.72 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.72 5.70786347227 100% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.110864588168 0.218282227539 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0348520821822 0.0743258471296 47% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0721157227362 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0796283586636 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.071591806238 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.2 14.3799401198 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 61.67 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.37 12.5979740519 90% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.97 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.