The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview. "It is time for the city of Grandview to stop funding the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. It is true that the symphony struggled financially for many years, but last year private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. In addition, the symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The extent to which the government should fund for the grandview symphony orchestra has been complicated in its implication. The memo from a budget planner for the city of grandview recommends that the city eliminate funding for the grandview symphony orchestra from next year's budge, since they predict that symphony will flourish even without funding from the city. To buttress the argument, the author cites the following evidences: first, private contribution from last year increased by 200 precent; second attendance doubled; last, symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. While it might be true that symphony is capable of self-funding, we are not able to fully evaluate the predicted result from this recommendation due to some unanswered questions.
To begin with, the question requiring more evidences is that whether private contribution provides enough fundings for the symphony to survive and whether it would continue to do so. if prive contributions have been low over several years, then even they increased by 200 percent last year, they might still not be enough to support the whole operation of symphony. To better evaluate the recommendation, the author ought to provide more detailed information about specific denotions from private fundings over past many years. In addition, the question that whether condition in last year is atypical needs to be addressed. In all likelihood, when economy in this city has been improved significantly from last year and would stabilize for next five years, then it is promising that private contribution would enhance dramatically owing to better economical conditions and government support would be unnecessary. On the other hand, if most people only made contribution once and decided to no more devote more money, then we perhaps cannot foresee the expected result from this recommendation. Moreover, the author fails to offer some information about the attendance at symphony's concerts-in-the-park series. if this is just an free activity to publicize symphony and attract the public, then citiens may be willing to join because of curiosity and free of charge. However, some probably will lose interest in it or do not want to pay for such performances. in this case, attendanc from this particular concert cannot provide full information and meaningful support to their recommendation. if they no longer hold such events in the future, the attendance would not increase greatly.
last but not least, the author unfairly assumes that increase in ticket prices for next year would guaranteed the self-support of symphony, thereby eliminating city funding. Nonetheless, they neglect potential decrease in attendance due to price increase. it is natural that demands for symphony would decrease when its price increases, in that enhancing prices may crowd out those whose reservation cost is relatively lower. Therefore, no one can ensure that symphony is able to gather much money from audiences after price increase. Furthermore, the author should also take the cost into consideration. it is likely that costs, including operation costs and labor costs, can increase next year. Hence, even though symphony might benefit from increasing audiences or increasing admission fees, costs may even exceed revenues. In conclusion, without answering the question about impacts for all the potential changes occuring in the future, the conclusion in the memo is problematic.
To sum up, as it stands, the recommendation is replied on evidences with considerable unanswered questions. To better decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result, the author ought to answer the questions as follows: first, whether private contribution is able to support symphony next year; second, whether attendance in normal setting of symphony performances would increase a lot; finally, whether symphony would ensure higher profits after price increase.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- ??? Need to argue against the conclusion always. For this topic it is:
For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city.
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 611 350
No. of Characters: 3271 1500
No. of Different Words: 275 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.972 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.354 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.833 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 248 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 199 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 143 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 93 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.158 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.382 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.341 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.5 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 767, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
... stabilize for next five years, then it is promising that private contribution would enhance...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 849, Rule ID: ECONOMICAL_ECONOMIC[1]
Message: Did you mean 'economic' (=connected with economy)?
Suggestion: economic
...ld enhance dramatically owing to better economical conditions and government support would...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1213, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
... symphonys concerts-in-the-park series. if this is just an free activity to public...
^^
Line 3, column 1229, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...rts-in-the-park series. if this is just an free activity to publicize symphony and...
^^
Line 3, column 1462, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: In
... not want to pay for such performances. in this case, attendanc from this particul...
^^
Line 3, column 1595, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...ingful support to their recommendation. if they no longer hold such events in the ...
^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Last
...endance would not increase greatly. last but not least, the author unfairly assu...
^^^^
Line 5, column 100, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'guarantee'
Suggestion: guarantee
...se in ticket prices for next year would guaranteed the self-support of symphony, thereby e...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 257, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...se in attendance due to price increase. it is natural that demands for symphony wo...
^^
Line 5, column 606, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... also take the cost into consideration. it is likely that costs, including operati...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, second, so, still, then, therefore, while, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with, to sum up, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 25.0 12.9520958084 193% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 81.0 55.5748502994 146% => OK
Nominalization: 33.0 16.3942115768 201% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3352.0 2260.96107784 148% => OK
No of words: 610.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.49508196721 5.12650576532 107% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96972615649 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.9515281481 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 291.0 204.123752495 143% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.477049180328 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 1031.4 705.55239521 146% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 13.0 4.22255489022 308% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 70.0970298943 57.8364921388 121% => OK
Chars per sentence: 134.08 119.503703932 112% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.4 23.324526521 105% => OK
Discourse Markers: 8.08 5.70786347227 142% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.320016834701 0.218282227539 147% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0877039374198 0.0743258471296 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.11075433056 0.0701772020484 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.215660034249 0.128457276422 168% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.165587964155 0.0628817314937 263% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.92 12.5979740519 118% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.66 8.32208582834 104% => OK
difficult_words: 148.0 98.500998004 150% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.