The following appeared in a memo from a budget planner for the city of Grandview.
"It is time for the city of Grandview to stop funding the Grandview Symphony Orchestra. It is true that the symphony struggled financially for many years, but last year private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. In addition, the symphony has just announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. For these reasons, we recommend that the city eliminate funding for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra from next year's budget. We predict that the symphony will flourish in the years to come even without funding from the city."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The budget planner of Grandview city suggests that the city should scotch fundings for the Grandview Symphony Orchestra, believing that the orchestra can continue to succeed on its own and that the a city budget deficit can be circumvented. However, such recommendations should be taken as a grain of salt because they are many unanswered questions, the answers to which may result in expected results than the budget planner's prognostication.
The most prominent question that must be addressed is whether the Grandview Symphony can indeed extend its halcyon despite the lack of government funding. While we know that the orchestra had succeeded thanks to an increase in private fundings, but this fact does not insinuate that the orchestra can still succeed without funding from the city. The budget planner only mentions that private fundings have increased by 200%, but does not provide a concrete number that can be compared with fundings from the government. Thus, despite the increase in private fundings, the orchestra may still be dependent on the city's fundings and would fail to sustain itself in the absence of them, contrary to what the budget planner suggests.
Moreover, the budget planner does not address the consequence of the orchestra increasing its ticket price, which brings many more questionable implications. For example, maybe the increase in price will lead to a decrease in audience size, and thus less revenue and less profit, meaning that the orchestra will still be losing money in the long run.
Yet another question that arises is whether the fundings for the orchestra compose a large part of the city's budget. The budget planner neglects this question when concluding that a cease in funding for the orchestra would preclude a budget deficit. However, if a significant portion of the city's budget is dedicated to other factors, perhaps environmental concerns, construction, or tourism, then cutting the funding for the orchestra will not prevent a budget deficit, unlike what the budget planner believes. If this is indeed the case, then the budget planner would need to focus his attention on other government spending.
Overall, the budget planner struggles to provide a cogent argument for the city to remove the funds to the Grandview Symphony in their memo because they have left many unanswered questions. If the budget planner could provide answers to all these raised questions with sufficient evidence, that their recommendation would most likely have the intended consequences.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 402 350
No. of Characters: 2084 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.478 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.184 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.655 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 172 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 134 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 47 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.714 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.573 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.434 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.666 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 195, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'a' is left.
Suggestion: the; a
...continue to succeed on its own and that the a city budget deficit can be circumvented...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 419, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'planners'' or 'planner's'?
Suggestion: planners'; planner's
...ult in expected results than the budget planners prognostication. The most prominent qu...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 352, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... still be losing money in the long run. Yet another question that arises is whet...
^^^
Line 4, column 264, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...preclude a budget deficit. However, if a significant portion of the citys budget ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, may, moreover, still, then, thus, while, for example
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 11.0 19.6327345309 56% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 39.0 55.5748502994 70% => OK
Nominalization: 15.0 16.3942115768 91% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2125.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 402.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.28606965174 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47771567384 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74293298214 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.485074626866 0.468620217663 104% => OK
syllable_count: 628.2 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 14.0 19.7664670659 71% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 41.2864557521 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 151.785714286 119.503703932 127% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.7142857143 23.324526521 123% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.0 5.70786347227 88% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162452461183 0.218282227539 74% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0746792731885 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0644192703138 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.102930606696 0.128457276422 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0341561766116 0.0628817314937 54% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.8 14.3799401198 124% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 43.06 48.3550499002 89% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 14.2 12.197005988 116% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.99 12.5979740519 111% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.8 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.