The following appeared in a memo from the owner of a chain of cheese stores located throughout the United States. "For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, all of the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin.Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In this argument, the author concludes that the store need to discontinue stocking imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheeses to increase the profit. To bolster the argument, the author points out a survey did by the World magazine and the fact that all the five best-selling cheeses at their new stores are domestic cheeses last year. However, unless several questions have been answered, the argument does not hold water.
Firstly, the author mentions that the five best-selling cheeses in their sore were all domestic cheeses from Wisconsin last year. But does everything hold constant over this year? Actually, many conditions and factors may have changed over the past one year. Perhaps, advertisements of imported cheese from France have gone popular this year, and consumers have changed their preference. It is also possible that some noxious substances have been found in domestic cheeses, and to avoid being poisoned because of those noxious substances, consumers choose to purchase imported cheeses rather than domestic cheeses. Therefore, to back the argument, the author should provide more information of whether all conditions have remained unchanged over the past one year.
Secondly, the survey demonstrating that there is an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among the World magazine subscribers is unwarranted. Are the subscribers of the World magazine all from the United States, and if so, do them scatter around the country? It is likely that the main audience of the magazine are from the Europe or Asia rather than from the United States, and because the cheese stores only locate throughout the United States, the result of the survey cannot be applicable to the cheese store. It is also likely that the magazine is a local magazine and most of subscribers of the magazine are only from one county, thus, the sample of the survey is not representative enough. In conclusion, without additional information about the audience of the World magazine, it is difficult to access the merit of this survey.
Thirdly, the author assumes that as long as the store discontinues stocking imported cheese and concentrate on domestic cheeses to increase the profit, the profit will increase. But what about the expense? Profitability is restricted by revenue and expense. Without weighing the expense against revenue, it is unsubstantiated to indicate that the profit will increase. If the charges for water and electricity and the renting cost rises, despite the revenue climbs because concentrating the domestic cheeses, the final profit may decline. Thus, in order to justify the assumption, I would need more detailed information involving the expense of the stores.
In a nutshell, the argument is unconvincing as it fails to answer additional questions. If the argument had included the given factors discussed before, it would have been more logically acceptable.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- suppose all conditions have remained unchanged over the past one year, and then how to argue?
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 2387 1500
No. of Different Words: 199 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.212 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.71 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 144 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.818 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.442 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.31 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 581, Rule ID: MOST_SOME_OF_NNS[1]
Message: After 'most of', you should use 'the' ('most of the subscribers') or simply say ''most subscribers''.
Suggestion: most of the subscribers; most subscribers
...at the magazine is a local magazine and most of subscribers of the magazine are only from one count...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2457.0 2260.96107784 109% => OK
No of words: 458.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 5.36462882096 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62611441266 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.79289733928 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 211.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.460698689956 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 767.7 705.55239521 109% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 54.9953604354 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.681818182 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.8181818182 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.59090909091 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.308993055336 0.218282227539 142% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0833361364424 0.0743258471296 112% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0741816191128 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.151778405396 0.128457276422 118% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0889888962542 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.81 12.5979740519 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.42 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.