The following appeared in a memo from the sales manager of Eco-Power, a company that
manufactures tools and home appliances.
"Many popular radio and television commercials use memorable tunes and song lyrics to call
attention to the products being advertised. Indeed, a recent study of high school students
showed that 85 percent could easily recognize the tunes used to advertise leading soft drinks
and fast-food restaurants. Despite our company's extensive advertising in magazines during
the past year, sales of our home appliances declined. Therefore, to boost company profits, we
should now switch to advertisements featuring a distinctive song."
In this editorial, the author contends that memorable tunes and lyrics in the advertisement of goods have the significant effect on increasing the demand for those goods. To support this claim he mentions the recent study in a high school that represented that 85 percent of student remember some soft drinks and fast food restaurant from their advertisement song. Therefore, the author suggests that for increasing the income and profit of the Eco- power company it is better to use song advertisement. I find this argument contains several logical flaws, which render it unconvincing.
To begin with, the author assumes that there is a significant relationship between song advertisement and willingness to buy a product and overlooks other factors that might have important effects on the willingness of customers to buy the products. Perhaps, the quality of products or the packing shape of the products could attract more customer than the advertisement of them.
Secondly, the author claims that the recent study of high school student can demonstrate that 85 percent of students easily recognize the advertisement of the products such as fast food restaurants and soft drinks. However, the author overestimated the facts that sampling society of mention study might completely differ from the society of customers of Eco-power factory. It is entirely possible that customers of the manufacture tools do not attract to the song and the lyric of advertisement. Or perhaps, because of the age of the high students lower than the customer of Eco-power company, they like to remember the song of the advertisement; But the Eco-power customer might ignore these kinds of advertisement.
In addition, the author claims that the 85 percent of students easily recognize the song of advertisement that related to soft drinks and restaurants. I believe that the author compares apple and oranges and it is entirely possible that in the advertisement of soft drinks the aim of advertisement make an easy song to make the customers easily remember their names, however, for advertising the manufacture tools they need to introduce the quality and convenient use of their products. Therefore, the song advertisement might decrease the income and profit of the Eco-power company. I suggest that the author have to provide valid evidence that represents other company that produces manufacture tools used this type of advertisement and increase their profits.
Finally, the author contends that because the Eco-power company advertises in a magazine the income and profit of the company decrease, therefore, for increasing the profit of the company they have to advertise on TV. The author concludes illogically and overlooked other factors that might have more effect on their profit than the advertisement. It is entirely possible that the other manufacture tools company use other ways such as promotions and anniversary discount to attract customers. Or perhaps, the quality of Eco-power company decrease because of some economical problem of the company, therefore, the customers deny buying home appliances from this company.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- duplicated to argument 2
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 490 350
No. of Characters: 2590 1500
No. of Different Words: 183 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.705 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.286 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.907 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 200 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 160 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 108 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.222 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.841 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.611 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.399 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.541 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, finally, however, if, look, second, secondly, so, therefore, in addition, such as, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 5.0 19.6327345309 25% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2645.0 2260.96107784 117% => OK
No of words: 490.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 5.39795918367 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70488508055 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.98759687883 2.78398813304 107% => OK
Unique words: 186.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.379591836735 0.468620217663 81% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 834.3 705.55239521 118% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 58.5593768519 57.8364921388 101% => OK
Chars per sentence: 146.944444444 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.2222222222 23.324526521 117% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61111111111 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.211263543646 0.218282227539 97% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0817648511758 0.0743258471296 110% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0411432830994 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135322717046 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0246907962526 0.0628817314937 39% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 17.6 14.3799401198 122% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 35.61 48.3550499002 74% => OK
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 15.0 12.197005988 123% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.34 12.5979740519 114% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.2 8.32208582834 99% => OK
difficult_words: 100.0 98.500998004 102% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.