"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.’
The author recommends that opening new café in the Monarch book store could attract more customers and give the owner of this book store the opportunity to better compete with the new bookstore that recently opened. The author also recommends that they have to discount the children book section and give that space to their new café. To support this recommendation, the author points out that the percentage decrease of population of children under the age 10. I find the authors arguments logically unconvincing in several respects.
To begin with, the author claims that based on the statistics that the national census provide the percentage population of the children under the age ten significantly decline. However, the author overestimate to demonstrate what is the exact and clear number of children decrease? Or this nation organization could be a good source to provide statistics for a local book store? In addition, these statistics have to provide more detail information about the number of children that come to this exact local book store and buy book for their age. Therefore, without considering such possibilities, the author cannot convince me.
In addition, even assume that the statistics provided by the nation census organization is well suited to this situation; The possible effects of other factors on selling books have been overlooked by the author. It is entirely possible that many customers come to this book store because of quiet environment of this book store and opening new café in that environment might have negative effect on attracting customers. Or perhaps, opening new café could attract new customers at first but after couple of years because of this book store become over crowded the customers prefer to go to another book stores.
Finally, the author claims that opening a café in the Monarch book store could give them a opportunity to increase their customers and better compete with Regal book store that located in another place. But the author has to answer the questions that does the Regal book store have the similar condition to Monarch book store because Regal book store open recently and might have more customer for now. Or does the Regal book store locate in down town of the city which is too crowded or in the clam and quiet neighbors?
In sum, without ruling out these possibilities, the author recommendation cannot logically persuade me. To strengthen the argument, the author has to answer the questions that what is the exact and clear number of children that buy book form this book store and does opening new café in the book store environment have negative effects on customers or not?.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not exactly
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 451 350
No. of Characters: 2247 1500
No. of Different Words: 175 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.608 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.982 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.605 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 154 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 26.529 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.939 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.4 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.597 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.148 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: The
the answers to these questions would help t...
^^^
Line 8, column 90, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
... the Monarch book store could give them a opportunity to increase their customers...
^
Line 10, column 188, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to answer the questions that what is the exact and clear number of children that ...
^^
Line 10, column 239, Rule ID: FROM_FORM[4]
Message: Did you mean 'from'?
Suggestion: from
... clear number of children that buy book form this book store and does opening new ca...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, however, if, look, so, then, therefore, well, as to, in addition, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 7.0 19.6327345309 36% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 65.0 55.5748502994 117% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2311.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 451.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12416851441 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60833598836 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.72669580904 2.78398813304 98% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.39689578714 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 714.6 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 62.6174743733 57.8364921388 108% => OK
Chars per sentence: 135.941176471 119.503703932 114% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.5294117647 23.324526521 114% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.23529411765 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.312635729267 0.218282227539 143% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.11735438355 0.0743258471296 158% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.100854208924 0.0701772020484 144% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.17656480576 0.128457276422 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0912381093177 0.0628817314937 145% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.0 14.3799401198 111% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 45.09 48.3550499002 93% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.69 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.