The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The author recommends that Monarch Books should open a cafe in its store to attact more customers. Although a new cafe may allow Monarch Books to obtain additional income, the author doesn't provides enough evidence to support the argument. In order to provide an accurate prediction, the author need to provide more details, as discussed below.
In order to support the suggestion that Monarch Books should make rooms for the cafe by discontinuing the childern's book section, the author mention the data from the most recent national census. Although the census suggest a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten, it is questionable to assume that the national trend will be usful to predit the population of childerns in the local areas. It is possible that the number of childern under age ten will continuly increase around the neighborhoods. In order to answer the question that what is the trend of population under age ten in the local area, the author needs provide research and cence data for the local areas.
What is more, even though if the population under age ten around the neighborhoods is decreasing, it is questionable to assume that the childern's book will become less popular as well. It is possible that every parents would prefer to spend more money on the childern's books because they value more about the childern's education. It is also likly that a new book from a childern's writer become very popular, just like what happened when J.K. Rolling published the Harry Potter and the Sourcer's Stone. In order to provide a more reasonable recommendation, the author need to provide more research data about the childern's book market to answer the question if the childern's books will be popular in the next few years. Only if the author can provide evidence to suggest that the childern's book market is declining, the author's recommendation would seem reasonable.
Finally, the author suggest that opening a cafe will allow Monarch to better compete with Regal Books. Althoguh it is reasonable to believe that opening a cafe will attract more customers, it is problematic to suggest that following what Regal Books will help Monarch to get a better result. It is possible that even though the cafe attract more new customers come to the stores, old customers decides no longer to visit Monarch because they think Monarch no longer has wide selection of books as it claimed to be. The author need to provide more evidence to evaluate if opening a cafe will help not only attract more new customers but also not to loose any.
In summary, in order to justify the recommendation that Monarch Books should open a new cafe, the author need to provide more evidence to answer the question about how the childern's book market will go in the future, and if it is reasonable to not only attract new customers but also incites people to visit again.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 492 350
No. of Characters: 2370 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.71 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.817 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.572 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 168 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 121 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.05 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.423 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.631 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 184, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...to obtain additional income, the author doesnt provides enough evidence to support the...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 392, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ill be usful to predit the population of childerns in the local areas. It is poss...
^^
Line 9, column 819, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...childerns book market is declining, the authors recommendation would seem reasonable. ...
^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 649, Rule ID: LOOSE_LOSE[3]
Message: Did you mean 'lose' (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
Suggestion: lose
...ract more new customers but also not to loose any. In summary, in order to justi...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, if, may, so, well, in addition, in summary, what is more
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 20.0 12.9520958084 154% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 63.0 55.5748502994 113% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2417.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 491.0 441.139720559 111% => OK
Chars per words: 4.92260692464 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.70728369723 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59176632967 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.382892057026 0.468620217663 82% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 760.5 705.55239521 108% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 54.7720030521 57.8364921388 95% => OK
Chars per sentence: 142.176470588 119.503703932 119% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.8823529412 23.324526521 124% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.47058823529 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.203973767336 0.218282227539 93% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0887776922531 0.0743258471296 119% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0764394548839 0.0701772020484 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.140162891167 0.128457276422 109% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0542908850682 0.0628817314937 86% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.85 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.89 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.