The following is a recommendation from the Board of Directors of Monarch Books.
"We recommend that Monarch Books open a café in its store. Monarch, having been in business at the same location for more than twenty years, has a large customer base because it is known for its wide selection of books on all subjects. Clearly, opening the café would attract more customers. Space could be made for the café by discontinuing the children's book section, which will probably become less popular given that the most recent national census indicated a significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. Opening a café will allow Monarch to attract more customers and better compete with Regal Books, which recently opened its own café."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The writer of the recommendation contends that the new opening of a cafe inside the book store will allow more customers. The writer persuades the reader by explaining making a cafe inside the book store won’t significantly affect the amount of books they install and makes a good appeal to the customers. However, there are some misconstrues that writer mismatched.
The writer mentioned a wide selection of books on all subjects which allows the store to have a large customer base. It is true that when there are enough amount of books, people may get more attraction of visiting the place. However, we have to look close whether it is the main reason to Monarch Books. If the book store is located near massive population inhabitation buildings such as a group of apartments, the reason of popularity is not variety of books, it is the large amount of customers. For example, there is a book store at Jamsil station which lasted for more than 10 years has daily average thousands of customers going in and out of the book store. It also contains enormous amounts of books, but the main reason why it could sustain for more than a decade is that it is right beside the station which make a lot of people who use the subway give an opportunity to visit the place.
Also, decision that eliminating children’s book section and build a café at the same place may be a bed decision. The writer made such conclusion because the indication of significant decline in the percentage of the population under age ten. However, the writer only examined the most recent national census which misses the possibility of the decline could be temporary. The census right before the most recent one could may show that the percentage is gradually increasing. Not to mention about that the census data was national, therefore the percentage of the young child of the region could be still rising.
The reason why Monarch Books has a competitive relationship with Regal Books may not be the existence of the cafe. The point that the costumer weigh between Monarch and Regal is not profoundly examined and concluded in the article. The point may be how much wide range of books that the store contains. In this case, the conclusion of getting rid of the children’s book section won’t be the wise decision. Approving the opening of cafe by introducing the competitor’s cafe opening could be a mismatch because there is not data whether the number of customer declined and the number of the opponent’s customer increased after the opening the café in the Regal books.
For these reasons, the writer should reconsider the thought of constructing a café inside the book store.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 459 350
No. of Characters: 2166 1500
No. of Different Words: 204 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.629 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.719 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.555 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 67 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.95 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.102 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.328 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.55 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.117 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 156, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'amounts'?
Suggestion: amounts
.... It is true that when there are enough amount of books, people may get more attractio...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 233, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... examined and concluded in the article. The point may be how much wide range of boo...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, so, still, therefore, for example, such as, it is true
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2239.0 2260.96107784 99% => OK
No of words: 457.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89934354486 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.62358717085 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.77320681498 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 208.0 204.123752495 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.455142231947 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 705.6 705.55239521 100% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 12.0 8.76447105788 137% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.2665583007 57.8364921388 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.95 119.503703932 94% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.85 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.45 5.70786347227 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.247961673071 0.218282227539 114% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0748663831087 0.0743258471296 101% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0589046306904 0.0701772020484 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128292422453 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0712650318819 0.0628817314937 113% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.84 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 90.0 98.500998004 91% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.