The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Alta Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Alta Manufacturing had thirty percent more on-the-job accidents than nearby Panoply Industries, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts believe that a significant contributing factor in many accidents is fatigue caused by sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Alta, we recommend shortening each of our three work shifts by one hour. If we do this, our employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation
In the argument given, it is recommended by the arguer that in order to curtail the number of on job accident at the Alta manufacturing, the company has to reduce the three work shifts by one hour. This conclusion is based on the evidence that the accidents in the nearby Panoply industries is less, where the work shifts are one hour shorter, as compared to the Alta manufacturing company. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated three questions must be answered.
Firstly, the author prematurely cited the evidence from the Panoply industry that the Panoply industry has less number of accidents because of one hour shorter work shifts. Therefore the question arise that are two company comparable? Perhaps it is possible that Alta manufacturing has more number of employee than the Panoply Industry that may leads to more number of accidents counts than panoply industry. Additionally, it is also possible that more cases are reported in Alta manufacturing company than Panoply Industry. Hence, without much statistical evidence the recommendation does not hold water.
Secondly, the recommendation is based on the evidence from Panoply industry that the Panoply industry has less number of accidents. But this might not be the case, what if it is possible that both the company has different working environment? Perhaps it is possible that Alta manufacturing company has more stringent working condition that may add work pressure on the workers which may cause accidents. Additionally, it is possible that workers in Alta manufacturing are not following the canons of safety. Furthermore, it is possible that the workers in the Alta manufacturing company are less skilled as compared to the Panoply Industry. In addition to this, it is possible that the upper authority or management of Alta manufacturing company are not so solicitous about the working conditions or the safety environments of the workers, for instance the number of auditing of safe working conditions is more in Panoply Industry than in Alta manufacturing company. Hence, considering these aspect the conclusion is flawed.
Thirdly, the author assumed that most imperative cause of on job accident is sleep deprivation. Therefore, by shortening work shifts by one hours it would provide workers an extra hour to get adequate amount of sleep but, what if number of sleep hours of the employee remain as it was before the shortening of work shift? In other words, it is possible that the workers sleep hours is fixed. Thus, the author does not provide enough evidence to prove this assumption.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stand now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to offer more evidence (perhaps in the form of a systematic research study), then it will be possible to fully evaluate the feasibility of the argument.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 467 350
No. of Characters: 2373 1500
No. of Different Words: 178 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.649 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.081 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.877 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 175 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 145 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 100 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 54 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.238 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.152 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.857 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.353 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.353 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.115 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 173, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
...ecause of one hour shorter work shifts. Therefore the question arise that are two company...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 987, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this aspect' or 'these aspects'?
Suggestion: this aspect; these aspects
...nufacturing company. Hence, considering these aspect the conclusion is flawed. Thirdly, the...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 136, Rule ID: ONE_PLURAL[1]
Message: Don't use the numeral 'one' with plural words. Did you mean 'one hour', 'an hour', or simply 'hours'?
Suggestion: one hour; an hour; hours
...Therefore, by shortening work shifts by one hours it would provide workers an extra hour ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, thus, as to, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2428.0 2260.96107784 107% => OK
No of words: 467.0 441.139720559 106% => OK
Chars per words: 5.19914346895 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.64867537961 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96382486038 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.402569593148 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 786.6 705.55239521 111% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.2255796565 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 115.619047619 119.503703932 97% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.2380952381 23.324526521 95% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.0 5.70786347227 158% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 3.0 8.20758483034 37% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.356449501679 0.218282227539 163% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112702531082 0.0743258471296 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.10958481413 0.0701772020484 156% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.198712629186 0.128457276422 155% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.117903183939 0.0628817314937 187% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.18 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.7 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.