The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
"During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
According to passage, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant. Additionally, experts attributed that fatigue and inadequate sleep would cause that kind of on-the-job accidents. Quiot Manufacturing company is compared to Panoply Industries plant company with regards to that Panoply Industries company’s work shifts are one hour shorter than Quiot Manufacturing company. Experts suggest that if Quiot Manufacturing would shorten their three work shifts by one hour so that workers will get adequate amount of sleep and productivity would be increased. However, there are some points which absolutely must be enlighten.
First of all, Quoit company is working based on manufacturing whereas Panoply company is running based on industry. It means that Quoit’s work-load is more dangerous than Panoply’s work-load. Workers who are working for Quoit need to be more careful and vigorous. It would cost a lot, even a minor lack of attention. On the other hand, Panoply is making production on plants so, the possibility of having in-the-job accidents is lower than Quiot. Therefore, it is not fully correct comparison between them. Their working areas are totally apart.
Secondly, do we know any information about the number of workers in the two companies and number of workers who have in-the-job accidents. For example, if there is a high number of workers in Quiot Manufacturing compared to Panoply and the ratio of workers who have an accident would be lower than Panoply. The second point around it is that do we know any information about the work place, if the work area is intense, the accidents inevitable would happen. Those points must be explained.
Thirdly, how do we know the suggestion which has served as a solution for in-the-job accidents will work? Experts say that it would be solution but evidences are not adequate. It must be proven with the statistical data.
Fourthly, there might be different variety of health problem in workers who had accidents. It might trigger the accidents. Sleeplessness and fatigue would not be the only problem which cause the accidents.
As a conclusion, the solution cannot be said directly the comparison with the Panoply. The parameters are conditions are not same. It is not correct evaluation. Need to study further.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
arguments are duplicated. more to argue, like:
Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1917 1500
No. of Different Words: 180 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.139 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.776 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 139 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 14.346 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.726 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.423 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.087 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
According to passage, Quiot Manufacturin...
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Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...which absolutely must be enlighten. First of all, Quoit company is working b...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eir working areas are totally apart. Secondly, do we know any information abo...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...pen. Those points must be explained. Thirdly, how do we know the suggestion w...
^^^^
Line 9, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...be proven with the statistical data. Fourthly, there might be different varie...
^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...y problem which cause the accidents. As a conclusion, the solution cannot be ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, second, secondly, so, therefore, third, thirdly, whereas, for example, kind of, first of all, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1997.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 373.0 441.139720559 85% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.35388739946 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.39467950092 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.94394877278 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 179.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.479892761394 0.468620217663 102% => OK
syllable_count: 606.6 705.55239521 86% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 22.8473053892 61% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 48.824889375 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.8076923077 119.503703932 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.3461538462 23.324526521 62% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.23076923077 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.299514102692 0.218282227539 137% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0743493640202 0.0743258471296 100% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.123708015935 0.0701772020484 176% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.13600368346 0.128457276422 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.150789310455 0.0628817314937 240% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.9 14.3799401198 76% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 48.3550499002 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 12.197005988 72% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.16 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.0 12.3882235529 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 11.1389221557 68% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.