The owner of Movies Galore asserts that in order to reverse the recent decline in profits, they must reduce the operating expenses in their other stores. He bases his suggestion on the recent changes implemented regarding the operations in one of the ten stores of the Movie Galore's chain. He also undermines the idea that increasing movie rentals would reap any kind of positive result for the chain. In making these suggestions, the owner of the Movie Galore's chain, has made certain assumptions which might impede the desired outcome.
First of all, the owner suggests reducing operating expenses in the stores to reap more profit but fails to provide any evidence that such a change would ultimately result in ameliorating the current dismal situation of the chain. In order to prove his idea to be feasible for all other chains as well, he will need to answer a few questions first. Whether closing a store in other areas would meet the lifestyle of people residing in those areas? It might be possible that some of the stores are located in places where people generally visit the store after evening hours. There may be people who are busy during the daytime because their routine jobs and will only get free time to visit the store in the evening. There might be people who would want to watch movies which were reeased more than five years ago. There are people who are passionate about making their own collection of movies and depriving those customers would certainly not work in the stores favor.
He also undermines the idea of increasing the movie rentals as a means of improving profit for the stores. He states this without providing any evidence as to why this would not result in enhancing the current situation. Are people not willing to pay more for the movies ? Does it make a difference to people who are keen movie watchers and would not mind shelling extra pennies for watching their favourite movies. If the list of movies provided by the store is better than other stores in the town than people will be compelled to reach out to the store to get the movies that they actually want to watch.
The owner makes a recommendation for improving the declining profits for the stores but at the same time delves into fallacious assumptions for doing the same. He would first address the important obstructions at hand in order to make his idea viable. He will need to provide more evidence as to how reducing operational expenses is better than increasing rates for movie rentals. He will also need to consider whether his novel step would not exacerbate the current situation by alienating the current user base of the movie stores. He should also consider the geographic factors for making a move in the direction of improving the current fiscal conditions of the stores.
Essay evaluation report
flaws:
also need to argue:
and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2284 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.739 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.391 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 102 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 68 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.952 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.306 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.619 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.496 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.182 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 122, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... profits, they must reduce the operating expenses in their other stores. He bases...
^^^
Line 4, column 120, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eap more profit but fails to provide any evidence that such a change would ultima...
^^^
Line 5, column 120, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... dismal situation of the chain. In order to prove his idea to be feasible for all...
^^^
Line 6, column 117, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to answer a few questions first. Whether closing a store in other areas would mee...
^^^
Line 7, column 117, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n those areas? It might be possible that some of the stores are located in places...
^^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: SOME_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'some'.
Suggestion: some
...hose areas? It might be possible that some of the stores are located in places where peop...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 342, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... were reeased more than five years ago. There are people who are passionate about mak...
^^^^^
Line 10, column 122, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ng profit for the stores. He states this without providing any evidence as to why...
^^^
Line 13, column 382, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...han increasing rates for movie rentals. He will also need to consider whether his ...
^^
Line 13, column 535, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
... current user base of the movie stores. He should also consider the geographic fac...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, if, may, regarding, so, well, as to, kind of, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 23.0 12.9520958084 178% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 31.0 28.8173652695 108% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2334.0 2260.96107784 103% => OK
No of words: 482.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 4.84232365145 5.12650576532 94% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68556276237 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.42113539842 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 218.0 204.123752495 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.452282157676 0.468620217663 97% => OK
syllable_count: 737.1 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 4.96107784431 222% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 36.5208603764 57.8364921388 63% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.142857143 119.503703932 93% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.9523809524 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.09523809524 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 10.0 5.15768463074 194% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.241458451658 0.218282227539 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0938466705833 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0877634844327 0.0701772020484 125% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.126106929465 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.110948671893 0.0628817314937 176% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.8 14.3799401198 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.09 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.81 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 94.0 98.500998004 95% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Maximum six paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.