The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of movie-rental stores.
"In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore's ten movie-rental stores. Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits. Last month our store in downtown Marston significantly decreased its operating expenses by closing at 6:00 p.m. rather than 9:00 p.m. and by reducing its stock by eliminating all movies released more than five years ago. Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores."
store owner proposes to reduce operating expenses at all ten stores in order to increase profit while maintaining its name of providing affordable good quality movies. store owner is impressed with the increased profits at marston store where the closing time is changed from 9pm to 6pm and eliminating some movies in the stock. there are many aspects of the issue that the owner are not looking closely enough, and it is hasty to implement the same changes to all the stores around the country
we are not sure what exactly is the reason, or reasons if there are multiple factors, that lead to the success at marston store. two factors are mentioned, such as changing the closing time to earlier and getting away of the older movies, but how each of these two factors weigh in the outcome is unknown. how would marston store be doing if it keeps the same stock of the movies but close earlier? Or the other way around, if marston keeps its closing time at 9pm but eliminate the movies older than 5 years? are there any other factors involved that we are unaware of? For example, the closing time is changed to earlier, does that mean the marston store also have fewer staffs to attend the store? it is likely that the fewer staff members plays an even bigger role on cutting the cost for marston store. we need to look into marston store and look thoroughly and in a more well-rounded manner to find all the possible factors that lead to the success. then we need to conduct a few experimental trials on the stores and gather more information from the people who are experienced and worked at marston store for a long time to know exactly which factor contributed the most to the recent success. then we will have more confidence on changing the strategy. but with the information we have now, a success is not guaranteed.
The success at one store does not necessarily mean we can do the same thing and replicate that success at other stores. it is possible that closing early only has an impact on marston because of the local work schedules that most people are available and free to shop for movies around 6pm instead of 9pm. And it is also likely that the population and the age group at marston ensures that without movies that are older than 5 years, people feel there are more options for them so that the sales number increased. we do not have any date or demographic information of any other stores in other locations, thus we can not make sure that what works at marston will also have the same impact at other locations. it is possible that other locations there are more elderly and they are more likely to rent and watch movies that are older. In that case, it is wise to increase, not decrease, the number of old movies. it is equally possible that in other locations, the people are having a more laidback lifestyle, and extending the closing hour can increase the chance for customers to stop by and rent movies, thus increasing the profits. Or maybe other store locations are very similar to marston, then we actually should implement the same strategy to other places, as the owner proposed. but we will need all of this information to decide what is the best strategy for different locations, and the cookie-cutter “one fits all” logic certainly will not work without any supportive demographic information.
changing strategy will have bigger and longer impact on a business than just changing one bit of policy on one store. Decision makers should think long and hard anytime there is a chance to change all stores at the same time. just by looking at all the information we have now, it is clearly ill-advised to implement changes at marston to all the stores of movie Galore.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
also need to argue:
Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 657 350
No. of Characters: 2993 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.063 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.556 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.323 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 198 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 140 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 73 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 54.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 26.214 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.43 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.622 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.282 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Store
store owner proposes to reduce operating expe...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Store
...oviding affordable good quality movies. store owner is impressed with the increased p...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 330, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: There
...d eliminating some movies in the stock. there are many aspects of the issue that the ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to all the stores around the country we are not sure what exactly is the reas...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...l the stores around the country we are not sure what exactly is the reason...
^^
Line 5, column 130, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Two
...t lead to the success at marston store. two factors are mentioned, such as changing...
^^^
Line 5, column 307, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
...actors weigh in the outcome is unknown. how would marston store be doing if it keep...
^^^
Line 5, column 511, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Are
...liminate the movies older than 5 years? are there any other factors involved that w...
^^^
Line 5, column 702, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
... have fewer staffs to attend the store? it is likely that the fewer staff members ...
^^
Line 5, column 809, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
... on cutting the cost for marston store. we need to look into marston store and loo...
^^
Line 5, column 957, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...sible factors that lead to the success. then we need to conduct a few experimental t...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1202, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Then
...ributed the most to the recent success. then we will have more confidence on changin...
^^^^
Line 5, column 1262, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...re confidence on changing the strategy. but with the information we have now, a suc...
^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ve now, a success is not guaranteed. The success at one store does not necess...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 121, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...replicate that success at other stores. it is possible that closing early only has...
^^
Line 9, column 515, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...hem so that the sales number increased. we do not have any date or demographic inf...
^^
Line 9, column 710, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...ave the same impact at other locations. it is possible that other locations there ...
^^
Line 9, column 913, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...not decrease, the number of old movies. it is equally possible that in other locat...
^^
Line 9, column 1288, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: But
...to other places, as the owner proposed. but we will need all of this information to...
^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... supportive demographic information. changing strategy will have bigger and ...
^^^^^
Line 13, column 2, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Changing
...rtive demographic information. changing strategy will have bigger and longer im...
^^^^^^^^
Line 13, column 228, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Just
... to change all stores at the same time. just by looking at all the information we ha...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, if, look, may, so, then, thus, well, while, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 33.0 19.6327345309 168% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 11.1786427146 242% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 76.0 55.5748502994 137% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3075.0 2260.96107784 136% => OK
No of words: 657.0 441.139720559 149% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.6803652968 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.06280665599 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40390902302 2.78398813304 86% => OK
Unique words: 266.0 204.123752495 130% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.404870624049 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 978.3 705.55239521 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 10.0 4.96107784431 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 10.0 1.67365269461 597% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 60.3203978767 57.8364921388 104% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.0 119.503703932 103% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.28 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.4 5.70786347227 60% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 22.0 5.25449101796 419% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 16.0 8.20758483034 195% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.158825479814 0.218282227539 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0566294377199 0.0743258471296 76% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0429418259929 0.0701772020484 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.11180643368 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0173650401482 0.0628817314937 28% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 53.55 48.3550499002 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.16 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.59 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 18.0 11.9071856287 151% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.