Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The argument suggests that with the statistics of people who go to emergency rooms after getting hurt in roller-skating shows a direct causation with the lack of protective equipment. However, the logic is behind this argument clearly does not stand, and many aspects of this issue are missing.
75% looks like a number that should suggest a higher correlation, but the number does not look at other aspects, such as age. Roller-skating is one of the sports that people get easily get hurt, and knowingly not wearing a helmet or knee pads can also comes from the lack of maturity of the skater. how many of those skaters are teenagers? do they also happen to be the same group that does not have much experience in roller-skating? if age, maturity, and education plays a bigger role here than equipment, maybe we should focus on providing better training for new skaters, or giving schools and parents the tools to fully prepare their children for roller-skating.
Another obvious flaw of logic in this argument is the location. streets and parking lots are both places with more cars and busier traffic. it is not surprising to have a higher rate of injury as high as 75% in those places. what is the rate in other safer places, such as neighborhood, public parks, college campus, or even professional roller-skating space? maybe location is a more influential factor. maybe skating in a safer place without any equipment is better than skating in the middle of the street or parking lot with all the protective gears. we will need more statistics to know. Again, this argument dismissed these other important factors.
Not analysing comprehensively is just small part of the problem. if we look at the assumption of this argument, the bigger issue is that it only blames the skaters, the victims, should do and how can the victims do better, rather than what infrastructure is lacking, what responsibilities the public safety should partake, and how educational institutions and parents can do better. if a city has a significant enough amount of roller-skaters, is the city building enough infrastructures for them? when we see an injury rate as high as 75%, what is our public safety department doing to lower that rate and make our public space safer? schools and families, are they paying enough attention and guidance to make sure skaters, especially new skaters, are informed and educated on how to protect themselves? when injuries happens so often in public places, we should hold related people and institutions accountable, not blaming the victims who are already hurting.
Overall, from the smaller issues such as not considering other factors such as location and age, to bigger issues such as the understated assumption of this argument, this statement has many flaws. I suggest it includes all the areas mentioned to better advise roller-skaters.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 476 350
No. of Characters: 2327 1500
No. of Different Words: 225 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.671 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.889 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.789 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 170 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 114 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 39.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 31.444 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.583 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.35 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.634 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.14 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 300, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: How
...rom the lack of maturity of the skater. how many of those skaters are teenagers? do...
^^^
Line 3, column 341, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Do
...ow many of those skaters are teenagers? do they also happen to be the same group t...
^^
Line 3, column 436, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...have much experience in roller-skating? if age, maturity, and education plays a bi...
^^
Line 5, column 65, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Streets
...logic in this argument is the location. streets and parking lots are both places with m...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 141, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: It
...aces with more cars and busier traffic. it is not surprising to have a higher rate...
^^
Line 5, column 226, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: What
... injury as high as 75% in those places. what is the rate in other safer places, such...
^^^^
Line 5, column 361, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
...even professional roller-skating space? maybe location is a more influential factor. ...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 406, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Maybe
... location is a more influential factor. maybe skating in a safer place without any eq...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 556, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: We
...king lot with all the protective gears. we will need more statistics to know. Agai...
^^
Line 7, column 66, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...vely is just small part of the problem. if we look at the assumption of this argum...
^^
Line 7, column 384, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: If
...institutions and parents can do better. if a city has a significant enough amount ...
^^
Line 7, column 499, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
...ilding enough infrastructures for them? when we see an injury rate as high as 75%, w...
^^^^
Line 7, column 637, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Schools
...t rate and make our public space safer? schools and families, are they paying enough at...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 807, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: When
... educated on how to protect themselves? when injuries happens so often in public pla...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, look, may, so, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 32.0 28.8173652695 111% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 22.0 16.3942115768 134% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2399.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 476.0 441.139720559 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03991596639 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.67091256922 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88977518405 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.510504201681 0.468620217663 109% => OK
syllable_count: 730.8 705.55239521 104% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.67365269461 418% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 67.131561153 57.8364921388 116% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.304347826 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.6956521739 23.324526521 89% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.0 5.70786347227 35% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 14.0 5.25449101796 266% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187447208787 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0555494291191 0.0743258471296 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0607337382083 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.107764936766 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0642410913693 0.0628817314937 102% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.18 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 107.0 98.500998004 109% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 75.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.