Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within that group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots had not been wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, the statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The author claims that investing in good-quality protective gear and reflective equipment will reduce the risk of injuries among skaters substantially. To support his assumption the author cites some statistics from hospital which claims that 75 percent of injured people were not wearing any protective clothing or light-reflecting materials. However sound the claim might seem in the first glance, it fails to convince me due to scant statistical information to bolster the claim. Moreover the author's claim is primarily based on unwarranted assumption that wearing protective gear will abate the risk of injuries, rendering its main conclusion unpersuasive.
First and foremost, there's no information given by the author about the number of hospitals from which the data was analyzed. Furthermore, the author did not mention what kinds of injuries did the patients suffer and whether those could be avoided by wearing protective gear or not. For example, consider a scenario in which a skater suffers fracture in the foot due to some pothole on the road. In that case, protective gear would not have been of much use to avert this.
Also, the writer's claim that the absence of light-reflecting materials such as clip-on lights or glow-in-the-dark wrist pads is also contributing towards injuries among scaters, is unjustified as there's no data to support that any of those injuries occured during the night. If most of the injuries occurred during the day then using reflectors won't have any impact in ameliorating the situation.
Moreover, there's no information on what exactly is the cause of accidents which the skaters encounter. May be most of the injuries are suffered due to collision with vehicles or crashing from heights while performing some precarious stunts. Since most of these incidents lead to fatal injuries, investing in protective equipment might not have any significant effect towards reducing the risk of being severely injured. Also, investing in gear doee not necessarily mean that people would start using it.
To conclude, I must say that if only the author would have mentioned above arguments and rejected them with sound reasoning and evidence, his argument could have been convincing. But, due the lack of sufficient proof in its support, his argument is unconvincing as it stands. To convince me he must cite the number of hospitals referred for statistical data, cause of accidents and provide evidence to support that protective gear will actually result in reduced injuries among skaters.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 2095 1500
No. of Different Words: 205 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.199 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.803 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.985 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.765 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.334 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 484, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...tical information to bolster the claim. Moreover the authors claim is primarily based on...
^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 21, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
... unpersuasive. First and foremost, theres no information given by the author abou...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 455, Rule ID: USE_TO_VERB[1]
Message: Did you mean 'used'?
Suggestion: used
...ective gear would not have been of much use to avert this. Also, the writers ...
^^^
Line 5, column 467, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...would not have been of much use to avert this. Also, the writers claim that ...
^^
Line 9, column 197, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...juries among scaters, is unjustified as theres no data to support that any of those in...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 276, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...hose injuries occured during the night. If most of the injuries occurred during th...
^^
Line 13, column 11, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
...liorating the situation. Moreover, theres no information on what exactly is the c...
^^^^^^
Line 17, column 49, Rule ID: IF_WOULD_HAVE_VBN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'had mentioned'?
Suggestion: had mentioned
...ude, I must say that if only the author would have mentioned above arguments and rejected them with ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, while, for example, in conclusion, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 13.0 19.6327345309 66% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 58.0 55.5748502994 104% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2145.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 401.0 441.139720559 91% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.34912718204 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.47492842339 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89485048446 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 210.0 204.123752495 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.523690773067 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 652.5 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 5.0 4.22255489022 118% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 49.1923700726 57.8364921388 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 126.176470588 119.503703932 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5882352941 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.11764705882 5.70786347227 125% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 2.0 8.20758483034 24% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 12.0 6.88822355289 174% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0906348532277 0.218282227539 42% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0317870367525 0.0743258471296 43% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0323758356878 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0518375843731 0.128457276422 40% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0234334205 0.0628817314937 37% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.6 14.3799401198 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.05 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.83 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 103.0 98.500998004 105% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.