The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Health Naturally, a small but expanding chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Our previous experience has been that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build one of our new stores in Plainsville, which clearly has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise equipment are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight-training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a program called Fitness for Life, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The prompt supports the idea of the vice-president to build one of their new store in Plainsville, where the residents are more health conscious, in order to gain more profits. Although the vice-president showed scant reasons to establish his view, there are certain logical flaws in the assumptions of the argument, which are to be mentioned followed by necessary clarifications.
To begin with, the vice-president believed that health conscious people will more likely to buy health related products from their stores if they establish a new store in Plainsville. The logic behind the reasoning is sound enough, however, the premises remains vogue. What of there is already numerous number of shops that are well-established by now? It can be the case that those shops are doing monopoly business their and as a result newly formed stores might not be able to gain sufficient profits as they were hoped so. Also, the spaciousness of the to-be-formed store has not been cleared out by the vice-president. What if it turns out to be a very small store which in comparison with the other megashops and shopping malls of Plainsville, quite incompetent to do good business. Even if they produce good products and gets to progress slowly it might take long time to be a fully established store - only from which estimable profits can be earend.
Second to mention, the vice-president guessed that - the wholesome sales and overall purchasement of the exercise equipments are high enough to inspire them. However, in his conjecture - he might have ignored the overall sale of those equipments. What if the merchants had reported the increment of sale of equipments for only the products of a certain brand? What is the guarantee taht only certain types of equipments are sold in high frequency and that too from only a selective shops? And what if those products are far more compatible compared to the "to-be-formed" store? If any of the questions are happened to be answered "Yes" then it might not be a great idea to build up the new store in Plainsville as then the saling will be lot less than their earlier estimation, resulting higher loss and that is why it seized to be a failed project from the side of the vice-president.
Thrirdly - the vice-president premised that - they are going to get more profits in their business because of the interest of the new generations in fitness and health related matter. He conjectured this from the idea of the children being participated in the fitness programe. However, he has neglected the vulnerability of the same children when they will grow up. We can not take for granted the interest of the children will remain same as of now. It might be the case that most of the children have left out those fitness programes. Might be the study pressure of those children will forced them to leave such exercise programes causing reduction in the anticipated customers of the the vice-president of Health Naturally. Consequently he will not get as much profits as he had hoped so. Also, the reinaugurationof the local health club does not certify the fact that the people are going to be maintained those programes for long. At least no such evidences have been proposed by the vice-president. The members of that club might have chosen to join again for any certain purpose or for any functions; going to be end soon and so their endurance of the exercises to continue.
So, looking at all the abovemenioned points, it can be safely drawn out that - necessary evidences are to be provided and providential answeres should be given to the questions with sufficient facts menioning - are only plausible way to come to a certain conclusion.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 15 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 18 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 621 350
No. of Characters: 2994 1500
No. of Different Words: 272 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.992 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.821 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.873 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 187 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 154 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 77 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.885 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.814 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.654 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.471 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 483, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'shop'?
Suggestion: shop
...ency and that too from only a selective shops? And what if those products are far mor...
^^^^^
Line 7, column 514, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this fitness' or 'those fitnesses'?
Suggestion: this fitness; those fitnesses
...that most of the children have left out those fitness programes. Might be the study pressure ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 590, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: 'force'
Suggestion: force
...e study pressure of those children will forced them to leave such exercise programes c...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 685, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: the
...duction in the anticipated customers of the the vice-president of Health Naturally. Con...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 685, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'the' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: the; the
...duction in the anticipated customers of the the vice-president of Health Naturally. Con...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 729, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Consequently,
...the vice-president of Health Naturally. Consequently he will not get as much profits as he h...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 761, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...urally. Consequently he will not get as much profits as he had hoped so. Also, the r...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, however, if, look, second, so, then, well, at least, in conclusion, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 12.9520958084 139% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 46.0 28.8173652695 160% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 88.0 55.5748502994 158% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3084.0 2260.96107784 136% => OK
No of words: 621.0 441.139720559 141% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96618357488 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.991980728 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05932458485 2.78398813304 110% => OK
Unique words: 280.0 204.123752495 137% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.450885668277 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 957.6 705.55239521 136% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.5146588582 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.615384615 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.8846153846 23.324526521 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.38461538462 5.70786347227 77% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170362973269 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0539242682227 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0643408931355 0.0701772020484 92% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.101223804836 0.128457276422 79% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0684714084245 0.0628817314937 109% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 56.59 48.3550499002 117% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.16 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 133.0 98.500998004 135% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.