The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a
chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents
are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store
in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of
running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly
closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight
training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of
customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program,
which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."
The argument that, opening a new store of Nature’s Way (NW) in Plainsvile would be profitable , is not entirely convincing, since it ignores certain crucial assumptions and the researches are incomplete as well.
Firstly, the argument relies on the assumption that sales of exercise shoes and clothing are high, due to the high purchase from the people of Plainsvile only. The vice president fails to assume that the sales might have been surged up due to tourists visiting that area or the merchants might have been selling their products in cheaper cost than ever. Might be the merchants have launched some limited time-period offers to the people in Plainsvile, so that the sales of the products surged for that particular period of time. NW should conduct a research on why the sales have risen before getting in conclusion.
Secondly, the vice president’s conclusion is based on the fact that there are more people visiting the local health club for their fitness than ever. This doesn’t’ imply that the new store is going to be in profit. The research should be conducted on, whether the people who go for fitness classes are often visiting the healthy product stores or they are just going for fitness classes? It is possible that the people in Plainsvile only go fitness classes and they find those workouts sufficient to keep them healthy and avoid spending much in healthy food products.
Also, the vice president anticipates that the school children who are required to involve in fitness program will continue involving when they will be adult. There is possibility that the students are being involved in those classes, only because school made it compulsory. They might leave the classes as they leave the school and don’t care about healthy lifestyle.
Thus the vice president of Nature’s Way should conduct a extensive research on different aspects mentioned above before concluding about the profits that can be anticipated from the new store in Plainsvile.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 328 350
No. of Characters: 1616 1500
No. of Different Words: 163 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.256 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.927 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.492 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 61 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 33 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.231 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.727 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.538 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.361 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.642 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.105 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 97, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...Way NW in Plainsvile would be profitable , is not entirely convincing, since it ig...
^^
Line 2, column 514, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...the products surged for that particular period of time. NW should conduct a research on why th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 548, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...cular period of time. NW should conduct a research on why the sales have risen before gett...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...'t care about healthy lifestyle. Thus the vice president of Nature's Way...
^^^^
Line 5, column 61, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...ent of Nature's Way should conduct a extensive research on different aspects...
^
Line 5, column 61, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[3]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'extensive research'.
Suggestion: extensive research
...ent of Nature's Way should conduct a extensive research on different aspects mentioned above be...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, if, second, secondly, so, thus, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 37.0 55.5748502994 67% => OK
Nominalization: 3.0 16.3942115768 18% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1682.0 2260.96107784 74% => OK
No of words: 326.0 441.139720559 74% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.15950920245 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.24917287072 4.56307096286 93% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.75770450106 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 168.0 204.123752495 82% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.515337423313 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 506.7 705.55239521 72% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 13.0 19.7664670659 66% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 25.0 22.8473053892 109% => OK
Sentence length SD: 44.2147797186 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 129.384615385 119.503703932 108% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0769230769 23.324526521 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.61538461538 5.70786347227 98% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 6.0 5.25449101796 114% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174393443049 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0676498699834 0.0743258471296 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0708638944955 0.0701772020484 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108828568915 0.128457276422 85% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0596811963138 0.0628817314937 95% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 46.1 48.3550499002 95% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.94 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.9 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 83.0 98.500998004 84% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.0 11.1389221557 108% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 79.17 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.75 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.