The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors:
“Techcorporation is our top pick for investment this term. We urge all of our clients to invest in this new company. For the first time in ten years, a company that has developed satellite technology has been approved by the FTA to compete with the current satellite provider. That company is Techcorporation. A consumer survey last year indicated that over eighty percent of respondents were dissatisfied with the current satellite television provider and would want to switch to another provider if the industry were not a monopoly. Thus, the new venture of Techcorporation into satellite television will prove to be highly profitable for those who invest now.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.
The argument is flawed for a number of reasons. It unwarrantingly assumes that the survey done is a complete indicator of all the people using the satellite and assumes that techcorporation will be able to compete equally with the current satellite provider thus removing the monopoly. The period of time within which it can adapt to its business environment and be able to garner enough profits to be as high as the investors predict also remains to be seen.
For one, there is no evidence that the consumer survey was done for all the people currently using the satellite. One might ask, is the survey done only for a specific group of people or the entire population currently using satellite. Even then another question arises. The survey only takes into account the dissatisfaction of the respondents. It may very well be that a lot of people were actually happy with their current satellite provider and only a selected few who were unhappy were the ones that responded to the survey. In both cases, the proportion 80 percent means close to nothing if we don't have enough evidence to answer these questions.
Secondly, the investors assume that as long as monopoly is removed from the market, people would move to Techcorporation. But then several questions come to mind. Does techcorp have enough capital, manpower and resources to continue as a company that will rival the current satellite provider? Even if techcorp had the resources, will it be able to efficiently attract the customer base to itself and continue providing better service than the current satellite provider? Techcorp may lack in several areas in which the current satellite provider specializes in and therefore customers mayn't move to the new system readily at all. What if techcorp is even worse than the current satellite provider? The FTA approvement only says that techcorp's technology is good enough, but gives no information about its workers, resources, reliability of services etc all of which is needed to be considered to get further insight onto the matter.
Finally, Investors assume that people who invest right now will undoubtedly reap a high profit. Even if techcorp is able to solve all the issues regarding Customer service, advertisements and reliable resources to continue its business we need to know when will it be able to flourish as a rival to current satellite provider. Will it be now, or will it be two years from now? What if some unprecedented event occurs and the company goes bankrupt? Then all the money invested will vanish into thin air , let alone be profitable. Thus we need answers to whether Techcorp will be able to adapt to the business quickly to reap all the benefits that the investors claim that it'll do.
In conclusion, there are numerous concerns regarding the reliability of the survey, techcorp's own resources, customer service, advertisement campaigns and largely its adaptability with the current business market. To prove whether it'll be able to rival the current satellite provider and prove the investors deductions to be true is based on whether we can properly answer these questions or not.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Sentence: The FTA approvement only says that techcorp's technology is good enough, but gives no information about its workers, resources, reliability of services etc all of which is needed to be considered to get further insight onto the matter.
Error: approvement Suggestion: No alternate word
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argument 1 -- not OK. In GRE, we have to accept all data or evidence are true. It is important to find out loopholes behind surveys or studies. Loopholes mean that we accept all surveys told are true, but there are some conditions applied, for example:
It works for time A (10 years ago), but it doesn't mean it works for time B (nowadays).
It works for location A (a city, community, nation), but it doesn't mean it works for location B (another city, community, nation).
It works for people A (a manager), but it doesn't mean it works for people B (a worker).
It works for event A (one event, project... ), but it doesn't mean it works for event B (another event, project...).
It works for A and B, but not C.
....
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 523 350
No. of Characters: 2568 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.782 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.91 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.725 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 189 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 150 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 107 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 60 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.792 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.364 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.708 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.293 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.486 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.097 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 291, Rule ID: PERIOD_OF_TIME[1]
Message: Use simply 'period'.
Suggestion: period
...rovider thus removing the monopoly. The period of time within which it can adapt to its busine...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 601, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...80 percent means close to nothing if we dont have enough evidence to answer these qu...
^^^^
Line 7, column 502, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...money invested will vanish into thin air , let alone be profitable. Thus we need a...
^^
Line 7, column 530, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...nto thin air , let alone be profitable. Thus we need answers to whether Techcorp wil...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, thus, well, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 29.0 19.6327345309 148% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 17.0 13.6137724551 125% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2622.0 2260.96107784 116% => OK
No of words: 519.0 441.139720559 118% => OK
Chars per words: 5.05202312139 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.7730044521 4.56307096286 105% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78110701215 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 243.0 204.123752495 119% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.468208092486 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 840.6 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 63.1147543941 57.8364921388 109% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.25 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.625 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.75 5.70786347227 83% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0411833520492 0.218282227539 19% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0167367660124 0.0743258471296 23% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0314241792046 0.0701772020484 45% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0264630897588 0.128457276422 21% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0228562222831 0.0628817314937 36% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.2 14.3799401198 92% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.01 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.36 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 121.0 98.500998004 123% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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It is not exactly right on the topic in the view of e-grader. Maybe there is a wrong essay topic.
Rates: 16.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 1.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.