The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.
"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.
The author of a newsletter claims that many people have the desire to eat low-fat food and many of the foods marketed by Old Dairy Industries contain high fat. Thus he points out that the revenue of the firm will diminish considerably and recommends the investors to sell their shares of the company or stop purchasing its stock. However, the newsletter seems to be plausible at first glance, it reveals some logical flaws on a close scrutiny.
To begin with, the author quotes the data from a recent survey that indicates over 80 percent of the respondents tend to cut down their consumption of foods containing fats and cholesterol. As the author doesn’t provide detailed information about the survey, such as whether the respondents are selected deliberately, it is entirely possible that the people who participate in such a survey are overweighted and they will definitely choose to intake healthier food with low fat. Therefore, unless the author provides concrete evidence to indicate that the survey is scientifically organised, I will not be convinced by the statement of the newsletter.
Secondly, even if the survey is properly conducted, a desire of people can not guarantee the less consumption of high-fat food. It is well known that many people especially overweighted ones have difficulties in resisting the temptation of high-fat food, as unhealthy food usually tastes delicious than low-fat food. Thus, there must be a gap between the desire and the real condition. If the author can provide detailed information about the current sales of high-fat food in stores, the conclusion they make will be more persuasive.
Finally, the author presents that Old Dairy Industries have many high-fat food in the market. Such an evidence is too abstract to reach at the conclusion that the company’s revenue will decrease dramatically due to the shift of people’s eating habit. Without specific proportion of high-fat food within the products in the firm, it is imprudent to draw such a conclusion. Maybe the company have thousands and millions kinds of products, and high-fat food only stands for a small proportion of them. Hence, to bolster the author’s claim, detailed investigation should be done about the products information of the company.
In sum, the whole newsletter lacks detailed statistical data, including the current sales status of high-fat food in stores and the percentage of high-fat food among all products of the company, to support the author’s claim. Only by adding these data the conclusion of persuading people to sell shares or stop buying stock of the firm will be more reliable.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 161, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
... Old Dairy Industries contain high fat. Thus he points out that the revenue of the f...
^^^^
Line 1, column 429, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
...nce, it reveals some logical flaws on a close scrutiny. To begin with, the author quotes th...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 61, Rule ID: MANY_NN_U[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun food seems to be uncountable; consider using: 'much high-fat food', 'a good deal of high-fat food'.
Suggestion: much high-fat food; a good deal of high-fat food
...presents that Old Dairy Industries have many high-fat food in the market. Such an evidence is too ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 601, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'products'' or 'product's'?
Suggestion: products'; product's
... investigation should be done about the products information of the company. In sum, ...
^^^^^^^^
Discourse Markers used:
['finally', 'first', 'hence', 'however', 'if', 'may', 'second', 'secondly', 'so', 'therefore', 'thus', 'well', 'such as', 'to begin with']
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance in Part of Speech:
Nouns: 0.250517598344 0.25644967241 98% => OK
Verbs: 0.144927536232 0.15541462614 93% => OK
Adjectives: 0.0931677018634 0.0836205057962 111% => OK
Adverbs: 0.0517598343685 0.0520304965353 99% => OK
Pronouns: 0.0248447204969 0.0272364105082 91% => OK
Prepositions: 0.126293995859 0.125424944231 101% => OK
Participles: 0.0351966873706 0.0416121511921 85% => OK
Conjunctions: 2.93737394757 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Infinitives: 0.0269151138716 0.026700313972 101% => OK
Particles: 0.00414078674948 0.001811407834 229% => OK
Determiners: 0.11801242236 0.113004496875 104% => OK
Modal_auxiliary: 0.0207039337474 0.0255425247493 81% => OK
WH_determiners: 0.00414078674948 0.0127820249294 32% => Some subClauses wanted starting by 'Which, Who, What, Whom, Whose.....'
Vocabulary words and sentences:
No of characters: 2648.0 2731.13054187 97% => OK
No of words: 426.0 446.07635468 95% => OK
Chars per words: 6.21596244131 6.12365571057 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.57801047555 99% => OK
words length more than 5 chars: 0.387323943662 0.378187486979 102% => OK
words length more than 6 chars: 0.291079812207 0.287650121315 101% => OK
words length more than 7 chars: 0.234741784038 0.208842608468 112% => OK
words length more than 8 chars: 0.152582159624 0.135150697306 113% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.93737394757 2.79052419416 105% => OK
Unique words: 217.0 207.018472906 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.509389671362 0.469332199767 109% => OK
Word variations: 57.3163418047 52.1807786196 110% => OK
How many sentences: 17.0 20.039408867 85% => OK
Sentence length: 25.0588235294 23.2022227129 108% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.3991100323 57.7814097925 89% => OK
Chars per sentence: 155.764705882 141.986410481 110% => OK
Words per sentence: 25.0588235294 23.2022227129 108% => OK
Discourse Markers: 0.823529411765 0.724660767414 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.14285714286 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 3.58251231527 112% => OK
Readability: 54.1668047501 51.9672348444 104% => OK
Elegance: 1.85981308411 1.8405768891 101% => OK
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.500001590322 0.441005458295 113% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence: 0.140958816157 0.135418324435 104% => OK
Sentence sentence coherence SD: 0.0745187787276 0.0829849096947 90% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence: 0.648536495246 0.58762219726 110% => OK
Sentence paragraph coherence SD: 0.110650707562 0.147661913831 75% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.237806183529 0.193483328276 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0869465277993 0.0970749176394 90% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence: 0.544023765174 0.42659136922 128% => OK
Paragraph paragraph coherence SD: 0.0536836463328 0.0774707102158 69% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.37032095843 0.312017818177 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0506242280666 0.0698173142475 73% => The ideas may be duplicated in paragraphs.
Task Achievement:
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.33743842365 96% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.87684729064 29% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.82512315271 145% => OK
Positive topic words: 6.0 6.46551724138 93% => OK
Negative topic words: 2.0 5.36822660099 37% => OK
Neutral topic words: 4.0 2.82389162562 142% => OK
Total topic words: 12.0 14.657635468 82% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
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Rates: 70.83 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.25 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
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Note: This is not the final score. The e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.