"Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares, and other investors not to purchase stock in this company."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the advice and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the advice.
The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors. Author made conclusion that, many of food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholestrol, so company's sales are likely diminish. Therefore we advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and not to purchase stock in this company. There are several question which need to be ask by author before making conclusion.
Firstly, author state that over 80 percent of respondents to recent survey indicated a desire wto reduce thier intake containing fats and cholestrol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Author need ask question about when survey conducted? How it should be validated? Author further need to check about how much of 80 percent. Whether from 10000 or 500 we just don't know.
Secondly, author state that many of food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol. The company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and company profits will no doubt decrease. Author need to ask question, what are reason for Old Dairy Industries sales food product with fat and cholestrol? It is possibility that customer who buy dairy product mixed some fatty elements as ingrient so that it's level of fats and cholestrol may increase. Author need to survey of residents who are satisfied with low fats product, then only made conclusion that future Old Dairy Industries
diminish.
Thirdly, author draw conclusion that they advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company. Even though interest among the people for fats and cholestrol product which sold by Old Dairy Industries. Author need to review current situation of Old Dairy Industries as stock holders and values of their shares. It's possibility that they are strong as stockholders and if they suddenly sales their shares it affected of residents who are invested in that company.
To sum up with all, author need to ask several question before making any conclusion. There are several points which need to be taken in to consideration then only argument became strengthen.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 11 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 352 350
No. of Characters: 1777 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.331 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.048 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.554 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 42 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.719 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.55 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.546 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.09 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 235, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Therefore,
... so companys sales are likely diminish. Therefore we advise Old Dairy stockholders to sel...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 352, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun question seems to be countable; consider using: 'several questions'.
Suggestion: several questions
...rchase stock in this company. There are several question which need to be ask by author before m...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 381, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...cent. Whether from 10000 or 500 we just dont know. Secondly, author state that ma...
^^^^
Line 5, column 544, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'fats'' or 'fat's'?
Suggestion: fats'; fat's
...of residents who are satisfied with low fats product, then only made conclusion that...
^^^^
Line 10, column 40, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun question seems to be countable; consider using: 'several questions'.
Suggestion: several questions
... To sum up with all, author need to ask several question before making any conclusion. There are...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, therefore, third, thirdly, no doubt, to sum up
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 14.0 19.6327345309 71% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 25.0 28.8173652695 87% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1820.0 2260.96107784 80% => OK
No of words: 351.0 441.139720559 80% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.18518518519 5.12650576532 101% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.32839392791 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6466699782 2.78398813304 95% => OK
Unique words: 169.0 204.123752495 83% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.481481481481 0.468620217663 103% => OK
syllable_count: 551.7 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 2.0 8.76447105788 23% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.7756781786 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 91.0 119.503703932 76% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.55 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.95 5.70786347227 87% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.367919121714 0.218282227539 169% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.112788694095 0.0743258471296 152% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.155887508468 0.0701772020484 222% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.204761428811 0.128457276422 159% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.130154868321 0.0628817314937 207% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.3799401198 82% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.53 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 75.0 98.500998004 76% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.