The following appeared as part of an article in a business magazine.
"A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
The writer argues that whether a business to be viable and profitable should have executives who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night. This argument based on the premise that a recent study proves a correlation among the amount of sleep and the success of their businesses. However, on deeper analysis, it is apparent that there certain relevant aspects that have not been taken into consideration, leading to a number of mistaken assumptions and logical flaws.
One such flaw is the argument that that the amount of the sleep has direct impact on the performance of the executives. Though, the study in the business magazine does not mention any data about the working profile and background of these personnel. It is possible that this study may have as a sample prominent and prime executives who have distinguished among others with their skills. Thus, in this case, the amount of the sleep is not an indicator about the performance as less skilled executives probably will not be so successful with lesser hours of sleep.
Moreover, the study in the business magazine does not cite any information about the age of the sample. Maybe the majority of these executives are younger people and so they have the stamina and the endurance to complete their daily tasks even if they sleep only almost six hours per night. However, the majority of the business rely on executives with more working experience and a demonstrated route of success on the realm of business. These elder executives possibly would not be in position to work efficiently with a little amount of sleep.
The study also is not taking account the diet that people follow and their healthy lifestyle. In the condition that these executives prefer a healthy and nutritious diet and they exercise roughly daily, it is sound that these people can work efficiently albeit the little amount of hours. On the other hand, in the case that a executive does not prefer a healthy lifestyle, the little amount of sleep will often make him/her to perform poorly on the working enviromet as he/she will be tired and unconcentrated.
After closer examination of the passage presented, it is apparent that there are several assumptions. The recommendations in the essay show how this argument may be strengthened and made more logically sound.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 389 350
No. of Characters: 1882 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.441 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.838 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.631 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 90 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.312 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.015 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.348 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.588 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.057 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...istaken assumptions and logical flaws. One such flaw is the argument that that ...
^^
Line 2, column 33, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: that
...flaws. One such flaw is the argument that that the amount of the sleep has direct impa...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 235, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this personnel' or 'these personnels'?
Suggestion: this personnel; these personnels
...t the working profile and background of these personnel. It is possible that this study may hav...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...successful with lesser hours of sleep. Moreover, the study in the business maga...
^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ciently with a little amount of sleep. The study also is not taking account the...
^^^^
Line 4, column 329, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...rs. On the other hand, in the case that a executive does not prefer a healthy lif...
^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
.../she will be tired and unconcentrated. After closer examination of the passage ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, thus, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 14.0 13.6137724551 103% => OK
Pronoun: 36.0 28.8173652695 125% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1922.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 387.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96640826873 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43534841618 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70783773638 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 183.0 204.123752495 90% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.472868217054 0.468620217663 101% => OK
syllable_count: 616.5 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 37.9501626314 57.8364921388 66% => OK
Chars per sentence: 120.125 119.503703932 101% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.1875 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.1875 5.70786347227 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.251724789523 0.218282227539 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0822616368686 0.0743258471296 111% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0534941880293 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.135495074857 0.128457276422 105% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0689479913112 0.0628817314937 110% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.1 14.3799401198 98% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 47.12 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.17 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 82.0 98.500998004 83% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.5 12.3882235529 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.