The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The author concludes that corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. However, the conclusion relies on assumptions for which the author didn’t provide any clear evidence.
Firstly, the author assumes that the city of Helios is a city of opportunities for corporations who are seeking new business or a new location. The author is saying on the pretext that the city’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average rate, even in recent recession. However, the author did not provide any relevant facts to support this argument. There are also various other factors that should be seen before starting up a new business- socially, economically, and environmentally in a certain area etc, which the author didn’t mention.
Secondly, the author has provided supporting evidence that the city of Helios is an industrial centre of the region, and has provided many manufacturing jobs in the past. The way a city grows in the future depends on how it grew in the past. That means if there are 10,000 residents in the city and data provided is 15 years on past growth rates, it can predict its growth for a few years into the future. Beyond that the data becomes obsolete and less accurate, when the growth rate stops correlating with the available data. However, the author failed to provide the actual data or various past trends of the city’s job growth in the manufacturing sector. It is possible, that the city of Helios is providing more than its past share of manufacturing jobs in the industry or may be not but it is hard to compare- when no other data or statistics provided on a number of manufacturing jobs that are provided in the past are actually greater than from the other cities in the region.
Lastly, the author is also assuming that the city of Helios will attract those companies whose focus area is research and development of innovative technologies in order to expand its economic base. However, the author has nowhere mentioned about the city’s government working towards the growth in technological and research area. The author has also not provided any relevant evidence to support that with attracting more companies to the city would be beneficial to the city’s economic growth. Additionally, the author didn’t show any plan or the steps that city has taken to expand its business in two areas.
In conclusion, I would have supported the argument if the author has provided any relevant comparative evidence from the other city. Like the city near to the city of Helios is growing slowly economically. The city’s growth rate depends on the growth of the neighboring cities but the author failed to provide the relevant comparison of one city to the other. In it’s current state, the article is too heavily dependent on unsupported assumptions to be convincing.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 484 350
No. of Characters: 2327 1500
No. of Different Words: 197 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.69 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.808 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.694 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 173 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 80 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.2 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.225 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5