The following appeared as part of the Dean’s newsletter:
"The University of Wabash is considering a community service requirement for all undergraduate and graduate students. We believe that the objective of any university is to produce well-rounded and charitable members of society. The proposed graduation requirement would be to complete at least 8 hours of unpaid community service per month for a total of 9 months. The Dean’s office will maintain a list of approved local charities on its website with contact information. This is a fantastic opportunity for students to give back to the community and gain real-world working experience. Most importantly, local charities in need will receive the help that they need to continue their efforts."
The author of the argument contends that students of the University of Wabash will practice a community service, and that this concept will help local charities with their efforts to support local communities as well as this practice gives students a fantastic opportunity to give back to the communities and gain real-world experience. He or she provides the following as evidence to support his or her claims; the fact that every university should produce well-rounded and charitable members of cociety, and that Dean's office will maintain a list of all the approved local charities. The reasoning of the argument is totally flawed, as it is based upon unsubstantiated assumptions.
Firstly, the author fails to assure us if the community service requirement would be beneficial for both undergraduate and graduate students. Perhaps, it would be helpful only for the graduate students, because they are closer to real-world problems. He or she should have cited that according to specific surveys and other accurate data, community service appears to be beneficial for both graduate and undergraduate students. Also, the spokesperson two hastily declares that the objective of any university is to produce well-rounded and charitable members of society. As we know, there are some universities that prepare people for the business and corporate world and thus they ignore or diminish charitable actions. The author should have stated that among all other objects and between the different universities, they should promote charitable and social actions in order for our societies to prosper and thrive.
Moreover, the fact that 8 hours per month for a total of 9 months of community service as presented fails to convince us about the validity and effectiveness of that measure. Perhaps, 8 hours are not enough or even the period of 9 months is too long. The arguer should have quoted detailed information about the potential schedule in order for the readers to accept its validity. In addition, the fact that Dean's office will maintain a list of approved local charities on its website is scant and lacks substantiation. Nothing ensures that these actions are enough for the students to contact the charities and be accepted. The author of the argument should have quoted that local charities do not accept other methods of contact rather than their website and e-mails.
Also, although the proposed community service may constitute a excellent opportunity for students to gain real-world experience in could make them ignore their studies. The spokesperson needs to provide accurate data about the correlation between community service and hours of lectures. Only by that the readers could be sure that the students' grades are not likely to be affected negatively. Finally, we are given no indication what local charities really need and thus we cannot accept that the students' practice is the most positive contributor. Perhaps, they need more funds or other legislation.
The argument is weak, since neither is the conclusion sound, nor is the suggestion legitimate. Had there been substantial evidence, perhaps, the argument would have sounded more credible, but is its absence it sound indefensible.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 509 350
No. of Characters: 2654 1500
No. of Different Words: 233 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.75 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.214 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.792 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 209 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 168 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 115 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 66 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.136 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.358 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.409 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.289 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 15, column 63, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...oposed community service may constitute a excellent opportunity for students to g...
^
Line 19, column 211, Rule ID: IT_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'sounds'?
Suggestion: sounds
...ed more credible, but is its absence it sound indefensible.
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, moreover, really, so, thus, well, in addition, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 23.0 19.6327345309 117% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 27.0 11.1786427146 242% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 45.0 28.8173652695 156% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2726.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 509.0 441.139720559 115% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35559921415 5.12650576532 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74984508646 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.87943876947 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 238.0 204.123752495 117% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.467583497053 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 850.5 705.55239521 121% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 59.1026736541 57.8364921388 102% => OK
Chars per sentence: 123.909090909 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.1363636364 23.324526521 99% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63636363636 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.2548650175 0.218282227539 117% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0662086140523 0.0743258471296 89% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0656713085069 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.119770109259 0.128457276422 93% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0996289185266 0.0628817314937 158% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.4 14.3799401198 107% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 39.67 48.3550499002 82% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.4 12.197005988 110% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 14.1 12.5979740519 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.72 8.32208582834 105% => OK
difficult_words: 127.0 98.500998004 129% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 19.0 12.3882235529 153% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.