The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author concludes that birth order plays an important role in an individual’s levels of stimulation. He provides examples of increased level of hormone cortisol in case of stimulations in first-born rhesus monkey infants and human infants. However, the argument is seriously flawed as it is based on some unstated assumptions which must first be analyzed in order to reach such conclusion.
First of all, it is important to evaluate whether only the hormone ‘cortisol’ is responsible for increased the stated increased activity level. Perhaps, it is possible that other hormones combined with the level of cortisol are responsible for such an occurrence. Both the levels of other hormones and cortisol jointly are responsible for increased activity of the infants. The argument fails to consider this case and as a result the conclusion is seriously flawed.
Secondly, it is important to evaluate whether the firstborn infant monkeys produced exactly up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol as do their younger siblings. It is possible that the researchers took a wrong way for estimation and due to this their results shown excessive amount of the hormone cortisol. Perhaps, their measuring instruments were very faulty and showed twice of the real level of the cortisol hormone. The argument does not consider this case and so it does not hold water.
Finally, it is important to evaluate whether the first born human infants produced the similar high level of the hormone cortisol as the rhesus monkey first born infants produced in case of stimulation. However, it is very likely that the human infants produced lower level of the hormone than the monkey infants produced. If it is the case, then it will raise a question is the level of cortisol in the first born child is really responsible for the increased level of activities in case of stimulation and thus birth order has a great effect in the individual’s level of stimulation. The argument fails to consider this possibility and so is seriously weakened.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands, is seriously flawed because it is based on some assumptions which are unwarranted. If the author can provide explanations for the stated three cases and thus conduct research in a more logical and scientific way, then the argument can be properly evaluated and the conclusion will hold water.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 388 350
No. of Characters: 1939 1500
No. of Different Words: 149 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.438 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.997 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.731 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 143 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 88 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.824 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.719 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.12 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, first, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, then, thus, in conclusion, as a result, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 5.0 12.9520958084 39% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 6.0 13.6137724551 44% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 28.8173652695 83% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 16.3942115768 79% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1996.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 388.0 441.139720559 88% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.14432989691 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.43821085614 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86926404521 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 158.0 204.123752495 77% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.407216494845 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 628.2 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.76447105788 68% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.3641034776 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 117.411764706 119.503703932 98% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.8235294118 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.52941176471 5.70786347227 114% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 6.88822355289 131% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.138306032228 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0517331787822 0.0743258471296 70% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0608960875056 0.0701772020484 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0893955058282 0.128457276422 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0700325899774 0.0628817314937 111% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.15 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.9 12.197005988 98% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.83 12.5979740519 102% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.02 8.32208582834 96% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.