The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
In the letter to the editor, the author concludes that order of birth has an impact on the stimulations of organisms. This conclusion relies on the study of 18 rhesus monkeys and a high level of cortisol in various situations. Though the underlying issue may have merit, because of unaddressed assumptions and lack of relevant evidence, the author’s argument is unsubstantiated and deeply flawed.
First of all, the author has come to a conclusion based on a study of only 18 rhesus monkeys. It might have been the case with these specific monkeys, but it cannot be generalized to all the organisms. One’s stimulation levels cannot rely upon the order of birth. For instance, what if other firstborn monkeys did not show these stimulations. It can also be possible that as rhesus monkeys grow, their stimulation levels increase. If either of these scenarios is true, then the author’s contention that the order of birth affects stimulation does not hold water.
Furthermore, the author compares rhesus monkeys with humans, which might not be the best thing to do. The author presumes that the human body and monkeys are similar. However, this might not be the case as humans are considered more sophisticated and complex organisms. It might be true that firstborn humans produce high levels of cortisol, but this does not prove that the order of birth controls this stimulation. It can also be possible of other factors like a child’s metabolism and energy levels play a vital role in releasing higher levels of cortisol. If either case is genuine, then the conclusion drawn in the original argument is significantly weakened.
Finally, the author assumes that because first time pregnant mother monkeys have higher levels of cortisol, the birth order affects the amount of stimulation. However, this could not have been true because first-time mothers are always nervous as well as excited about the baby, which might bring a lot of hormonal changes in their bodies. These hormonal changes might be a reason why a higher amount of cortisol is released in first-time mother monkeys. If this argument is valid, then the assertion by the author that order of birth decides the amount of stimulation is hampered significantly.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands now is flawed considerably due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author can resolve the three flaws and offer more evidence (perhaps in the form of a systematic research study) and consider other biological complexities, then it will be possible to evaluate the viability of the proposed recommendation fully.
Comments
e-rater score report
Not right on the topic.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 002
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 426 350
No. of Characters: 2128 1500
No. of Different Words: 190 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.543 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.995 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.727 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.286 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.699 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.762 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.329 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.063 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, however, if, may, so, then, well, for instance, in conclusion, as well as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 47.0 55.5748502994 85% => OK
Nominalization: 17.0 16.3942115768 104% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2185.0 2260.96107784 97% => OK
No of words: 426.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.12910798122 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.54310108192 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.84737526529 2.78398813304 102% => OK
Unique words: 198.0 204.123752495 97% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.464788732394 0.468620217663 99% => OK
syllable_count: 678.6 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 9.0 4.96107784431 181% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 19.7664670659 106% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.0877498188 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.047619048 119.503703932 87% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.2857142857 23.324526521 87% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.04761904762 5.70786347227 106% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.25449101796 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.199429938124 0.218282227539 91% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.072847456493 0.0743258471296 98% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0746673957815 0.0701772020484 106% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125295923464 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0806227994699 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.9 14.3799401198 90% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.47 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.37 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.