The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The argument recommends that the study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's level of stimulation. However, this argument rests on many alternative explanations, and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
Firstly, we need more information about the study. This study only based on eighteen rhesus monkeys. The sample is too small to support the statement. The author claims that firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol when they are in stimulating situations. However, it is entirely possible that all monkeys have the same reaction in this situation. To be specific, the monkeys probably produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, regardless of their ages.
Secondly, the author states that firstborn humans also produce high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations. Still, it is highly possible that all humans produce high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations, not because of their birth orders. Even though the human and monkeys both are the mammal, the experiments done in an animal might not hold the same expected effects when it is done in human.
Lastly, the author says that first-time monkeys had higher levels of cortisol. However, I argue that this point might not explain the author's claim well. During pregnancy, we do not know whether the higher level of cortisol between the mother and the baby is correlated or not. If the increase of hormones in the mother does not induce the babies' hormone, then this claim needs more explanations.
The claim is not convincing without ruling out the alternative explanations as above mentioned.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 271 350
No. of Characters: 1364 1500
No. of Different Words: 136 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.057 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.033 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.634 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 105 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 76 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.938 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.108 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.326 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.58 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.104 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...therefore unpersuasive as it stands. Firstly, we need more information about ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...e cortisol, regardless of their ages. Secondly, the author states that firstbo...
^^^^
Line 11, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ted effects when it is done in human. Lastly, the author says that first-time ...
^^^^
Line 13, column 341, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'babies'' or 'baby's'?
Suggestion: babies'; baby's
...mones in the mother does not induce the babies hormone, then this claim needs more exp...
^^^^^^
Line 15, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...n this claim needs more explanations. The claim is not convincing without ruli...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, lastly, second, secondly, so, still, then, therefore, well, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 10.0 19.6327345309 51% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 12.9520958084 23% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 11.1786427146 36% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 28.8173652695 76% => OK
Preposition: 35.0 55.5748502994 63% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1416.0 2260.96107784 63% => OK
No of words: 271.0 441.139720559 61% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.22509225092 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.05734859645 4.56307096286 89% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.74228090715 2.78398813304 99% => OK
Unique words: 143.0 204.123752495 70% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.527675276753 0.468620217663 113% => OK
syllable_count: 431.1 705.55239521 61% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 34.4519026144 57.8364921388 60% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 88.5 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.9375 23.324526521 73% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.25 5.70786347227 109% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176692800378 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0643295527294 0.0743258471296 87% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.129754566617 0.0701772020484 185% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.108499556726 0.128457276422 84% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.123518819303 0.0628817314937 196% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 55.24 48.3550499002 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.76 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.39 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 68.0 98.500998004 69% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 12.3882235529 57% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.