The following appeared as part of a letter to the editor of a scientific journal.
"A recent study of eighteen rhesus monkeys provides clues as to the effects of birth order on an individual's levels of stimulation. The study showed that in stimulating situations (such as an encounter with an unfamiliar monkey), firstborn infant monkeys produce up to twice as much of the hormone cortisol, which primes the body for increased activity levels, as do their younger siblings. Firstborn humans also produce relatively high levels of cortisol in stimulating situations (such as the return of a parent after an absence). The study also found that during pregnancy, first-time mother monkeys had higher levels of cortisol than did those who had had several offspring."
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The study points out the importance of birth order on the stimulation levels of an individual and tries to generalize the same by citing the study of 18 rhesus monkeys with certain observatiosn. However, the mentioned results strongly poses the doubt on the study because of the lack of evidence. There can be some other factors that actually responsible for the stimulation level increase instead of the birth order. So there is a requirement of evidence which has to answer several questions and defend the study.
Firstly, the author of the letter cites the recent study of the rhesus monkeys to provide clues for the effect of birth order on the levels of stimulation. However, we have no idea about the credibility of the study. Does the study incoprorated the use of up-to-date scientific methods? Does the sample of 18 rhesus monkeys is a good representative for the actual population of rhesus monkeys since the studied monkeys maybe from a specific territory or age. Also will the 18 monkeys be enough to generalize the effect of birth order on the levels of stimulation? Maybe if some more monkeys are investigated the new results will be totally different. The above questions needs to answered so that we can have a reliable data and hence reliable results with sufficient evidence.
Secondly, the basis of the study is the biological response of monkeys to the stimulating conditions. However, evidence regarding the total number and types of stimulating situations have not been stated. Though the author have mentioned about a stimulating situation: confronting an unfamilier monkey, but this alone doesn’t guarantee that all stimulations primes up a body for increased activity. Maybe if some other stimulations are tested the results will be no change in the increased activity levels. Also, the hormone cortisol is linked with the increased activity levels and has been said to get produced to twice the level as of the younger monkeys, in infant monkeys during stimulations. But we need information on the critical amount of the hormone cortisol required to increase activity levels. Furthermore, how many infant monkeys were actually investigated and how many show the trend of increased active levels. These questions needs evidence which is missing from the letter and it arouses a doubt on the study that Is being conducted.
Third, an evidence to support the judgement that birthorder has effect on the levels of stimulation has been provided by comparing the nature of production of hormone cortisol in both newborn monkeys and human beings. However, does the production level in both living beings is same or different? Additionally, the stimulating situation for infant human being is different from the infant monkey’s stimualtion. So, does stimulation nature has no effect on the production of hormone cortisol? Are the monkeys and human beings biologically equivalent so that their results can be compared and generalized. As earlier stated is there any critical concentration of hormone cortisol required to increase activity levels and is the critcial level same for both infant human beings and monkeys? Futhermore, how many first time preganant monkeys were investigated and how many of them showed high levels of cortisols and by how much amount more than the monkeys already having several offsprings?
In the conclusion, we should acknowledge the author’s argument that birth order may play a crucial role on the levels of stimulation. For that certain observations of the study have been discussed in the letter. But there is a need of detailed information on the study conducted like its methodology, analysis and comparison of results with proper test subjects so that conducted study can be reliable source of information.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: ??? out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 29 15
No. of Words: 608 350
No. of Characters: 3106 1500
No. of Different Words: 242 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.966 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.109 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.794 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 238 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 176 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 125 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.966 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.527 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.759 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.474 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.112 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 460, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...maybe from a specific territory or age. Also will the 18 monkeys be enough to genera...
^^^^
Line 3, column 672, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[2]
Message: You should probably use 'need'.
Suggestion: need
... totally different. The above questions needs to answered so that we can have a relia...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 71, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...dy is the biological response of monkeys to the stimulating conditions. However, ...
^^
Line 5, column 886, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun show seems to be countable; consider using: 'many shows'.
Suggestion: many shows
...keys were actually investigated and how many show the trend of increased active levels. T...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 445, Rule ID: DOES_NP_VBZ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'have'?
Suggestion: have
...timualtion. So, does stimulation nature has no effect on the production of hormone ...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, first, firstly, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, secondly, so, third, as to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 19.0 28.8173652695 66% => OK
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 28.0 16.3942115768 171% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3183.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 607.0 441.139720559 138% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.24382207578 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.96360453597 4.56307096286 109% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92291360123 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 251.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.413509060956 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1015.2 705.55239521 144% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 29.0 19.7664670659 147% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9417767287 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.75862069 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9310344828 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.13793103448 5.70786347227 72% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 4.67664670659 235% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.305808502355 0.218282227539 140% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0932705612411 0.0743258471296 125% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0960260786151 0.0701772020484 137% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.202450298182 0.128457276422 158% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0714628822299 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 42.72 48.3550499002 88% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.11 12.5979740519 104% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.