The following appeared as a recommendation by a committee planning a ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava. "The birthrate in our city is declining: in fact, last year's birthrate was only one-half that of five years ago. Thus the number of students enrolled in our public schools will soon decrease dramatically, and we can safely reduce the funds budgeted for education during the next decade. At the same time, we can reduce funding for athletic playing fields and other recreational facilities. As a result, we will have sufficient money to fund city facilities and programs used primarily by adults, since we can expect the adult population of the city to increase."
From the recommendation suggested by the committee that working for the planning of the ten-year budget for the city of Calatrava, it can be said that the committee will have sufficient money to fund the city facilities and programs used primarily by adults. This is concluded by the committee because of the decreasing birth rate of that city. However, before this suggestion can be evaluated accurately following three questions need to be answered.
Firstly, how can anyone say that the birth rate of the city Calatrava will keep decreasing in the following years also? It may possible that the last year birth rate will be limited to that year only, it won’t be followed for the following years. For example, last year any pandemic came out and because of this pandemic, the pregnant women were more affected rather than general people, and newborn babies were dead. The pandemic may not be that harmful for the succeeding years. It also can be possible that the source of the birth rate publisher is not accurate. They may find the rate from surveying a narrow area or few of cities may be. If any of these scenarios are true, then how can anyone say that based on that one year’s birth rate the budget for facilities can be increase?
Secondly, does the budget allocated for education should depend on the birth rate of that City? It may possible that the previously allocated budget for that country was not enough for proper education. If number of student is reduced by any means, then the extra budget can be used for the quality education of limited students. It may be possible that the residents won’t require any facilities by cutting budget from education. The adult residents are parents of those student, so they might want more extra allocation for their children’s education. In that cases, there won’t be sufficient money to use for adults programs and facilities.
Thirdly, how can it be said that the number of adults will increase and will they be interested in the adult facilities and programs? It may possible that the children birth rate does not effect the number of adults in that city. Perhaps, the number of adults will decrease because of various diseases such as diabetes and heart problems. It can also be possible that the adults won’t be interested in the adult program and facilities. It may possible that the adults want to spend money on athletes rather than adult program. In that case, there won’t be enough fund to support adult programs.
Finally, the suggestion of allotting more money for adult programs and facilities is based on various unwanted assumptions. This proposal can be evaluated accurately if the author could present more reliable data may be in the form of a statistical survey or pie chart.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 475 350
No. of Characters: 2248 1500
No. of Different Words: 181 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.668 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.733 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.439 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 151 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 51 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.792 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.545 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.336 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.336 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.111 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 466, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this student' or 'those students'?
Suggestion: this student; those students
...ion. The adult residents are parents of those student, so they might want more extra allocati...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 188, Rule ID: AFFECT_EFFECT[6]
Message: Did you mean 'affect'?
Suggestion: affect
...e that the children birth rate does not effect the number of adults in that city. Perh...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, may, second, secondly, so, then, third, thirdly, for example, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 28.0 19.6327345309 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 29.0 12.9520958084 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 41.0 28.8173652695 142% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 46.0 55.5748502994 83% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2302.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 470.0 441.139720559 107% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89787234043 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.65612321451 4.56307096286 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54777439513 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 188.0 204.123752495 92% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.4 0.468620217663 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 715.5 705.55239521 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 19.7664670659 121% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.2671583161 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.9166666667 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.5833333333 23.324526521 84% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.70833333333 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.174040926956 0.218282227539 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.061471980337 0.0743258471296 83% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0726402746893 0.0701772020484 104% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.111506501642 0.128457276422 87% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0843768882238 0.0628817314937 134% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.4 14.3799401198 79% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.14 12.5979740519 88% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 89.0 98.500998004 90% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.