The following appeared in a report presented for discussion at a meeting of the directors of a company that manufactures parts for heavy machinery:
“The falling revenues that the company is experiencing coincide with delays in manufacturing. These delays, in turn, are due in large part to poor planning in purchasing metals. Consider further that the manager of the department that handles purchasing of raw materials has an excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology, but knows little about the properties of metals. The company should, therefore, move the purchasing manager to the sales department and bring in a scientist from the research division to be manager of the purchasing department.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
There are several unwarranted assumptions made in the above paragraph which attenuate the argument the paragraph is trying to make. One of the primary fallacy is that the directors trying to compare different aspect of the business to the falling revenues without providing any palpable evidence.
Firstly, the statement says that falling revenue is due in parts to delays in manufacturing and due to poor planning in purchasing the metals. However, the statement fails to give evidence to support its claims. Without knowing how purchasing of metals and delays in manufacturing affect revenue, and without evaluating its correlation, it cannot be determined that revenue is falling due to the delays in manufacturing and purchasing of metals. It is also vital to check other factors which may affect the revenue such as cost of production, and the demand for its product. The delays in manufacturing could also be attributed to the efficiency of the machinery used, so it is necessary to look at the efficiency of the machinery used to analyze the delays in manufacturing.
The statement boldly state that a manager who has excellent background in general business, psychology, and sociology should be moved to sales. However it has not provided the reasoning to support its claim. It also fails to mention the problems that this manager faced while being responsible for purchasing department. It is critical to know this fact to check whether moving the manager to a different department is the correct move.
The other vague assumption that the statement makes is by bringing in scientist from the research division to be the manager of the purchasing department the revenue would go up. The statement does not provide any evidence as to how the change would impact the revenue. Even if one assumes that the change in manager would trigger proper metal purchase planning, what is the guarantee that the manufacturing process will be expedited because of the change. It is important to analyze how the relation between purchasing and manufacturing in order to come to a formidable conclusion.
The above statement makes these several unwarranted assumption which leads it to be a flawed statement. By examining the factors as discussed above, the statement could be strengthened.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 369 350
No. of Characters: 1883 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.383 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.103 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.898 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 122 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.706 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.323 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.529 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.323 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.585 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.071 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 145, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...and sociology should be moved to sales. However it has not provided the reasoning to su...
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, so, then, while, as to, in general, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.9520958084 69% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 57.0 55.5748502994 103% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1926.0 2260.96107784 85% => OK
No of words: 369.0 441.139720559 84% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.21951219512 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.38284983912 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.96389755459 2.78398813304 106% => OK
Unique words: 173.0 204.123752495 85% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.468834688347 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 613.8 705.55239521 87% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 45.9545435099 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 113.294117647 119.503703932 95% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.7058823529 23.324526521 93% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52941176471 5.70786347227 97% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.25449101796 19% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.147003851144 0.218282227539 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0446026277304 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0523773842738 0.0701772020484 75% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0697892256863 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0718343236315 0.0628817314937 114% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.0 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 48.3550499002 86% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 12.197005988 104% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.0 12.5979740519 103% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.