The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.
"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades, food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author claims that Salicylates help reduce the number of headaches in Mentia and he predicts that the number will keep decreasing due to the new use of salicylates as flavor additives. However, the author doesn't provide enough information to justify his claim.
The summary mentions that salicylates are members of the family in which a medicine that is already known for its effect on ameliorating headaches. Yet, the evidence that shows salicylates have the same effect is not provided. It is possible that although two chemicals are from the same family, they don't really have the same usage as the other. For example, there are some chemicals from the same family of alcohol but could make people die if they drink them because those chemicals have different reaction in human's body with alcohol.
The author also claims that the correlation between the use of salicylates and decline in the number of headaches is corroborated by a twenty-year study. Nevertheless, there is no information about how the survey was conducted. It might be possible that it is a sloppy research which the experiment setups are not well thought and thus doesn't worth trusting. For example, it only considered the people from fifty to sixty years old when the research started. And the reason why there is a decline in the number of headaches is because most of the people surveyed retired. Therefore, they don't have any worries about their work and have no more headaches.
The author also predicts that the number of headaches can be even lower because of more usage of salicylates. However, he doesn't provide any information about the current number in Mentia. For example, there might possibly be only few cases of headaches. As a result, there is no more room for improvement. Even if there are still some people that have trouble with headaches, there is also no evidence showing that the new use as flavor additives can reduce the number. For example, those citizen who currently have headaches already take a certain amount of Salicylates in their daily lives and the reason why they still have that symptoms are not the lack of consumption of Salicylates.
The author states that the number will be lower after the recent change in food-processing companies that add salicylates as flavor additives. Yet, to substantiate his claim, he needs to provide more information as above mentioned.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 403 350
No. of Characters: 1950 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.48 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.839 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.622 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 63 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 46 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.15 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.715 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.327 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 210, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...s flavor additives. However, the author doesnt provide enough information to justify h...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 302, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...hemicals are from the same family, they dont really have the same usage as the other...
^^^^
Line 5, column 337, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...nt setups are not well thought and thus doesnt worth trusting. For example, it only co...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 484, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...search started. And the reason why there is a decline in the number of headaches ...
^^
Line 5, column 590, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...eople surveyed retired. Therefore, they dont have any worries about their work and h...
^^^^
Line 7, column 123, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... more usage of salicylates. However, he doesnt provide any information about the curre...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 209, Rule ID: MIGHT_PERHAPS[1]
Message: Use simply 'might', 'possibly'.
Suggestion: might; possibly
...nt number in Mentia. For example, there might possibly be only few cases of headaches. As a re...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 209, Rule ID: MAY_COULD_POSSIBLY[1]
Message: Use simply 'might'.
Suggestion: might
...nt number in Mentia. For example, there might possibly be only few cases of headaches. As a re...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 485, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'this citizen' or 'those citizens'?
Suggestion: this citizen; those citizens
...ves can reduce the number. For example, those citizen who currently have headaches already ta...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, nevertheless, really, so, still, therefore, thus, well, for example, as a result
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 12.9520958084 54% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 18.0 13.6137724551 132% => OK
Pronoun: 33.0 28.8173652695 115% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 55.5748502994 74% => OK
Nominalization: 11.0 16.3942115768 67% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1999.0 2260.96107784 88% => OK
No of words: 398.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.02261306533 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69881645585 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 175.0 204.123752495 86% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.439698492462 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 647.1 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 8.0 4.96107784431 161% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 20.0 19.7664670659 101% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 45.8670905988 57.8364921388 79% => OK
Chars per sentence: 99.95 119.503703932 84% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.9 23.324526521 85% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.2 5.70786347227 91% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 9.0 5.25449101796 171% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.215165782999 0.218282227539 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.065217185025 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0617560338552 0.0701772020484 88% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.124038469964 0.128457276422 97% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0577526282302 0.0628817314937 92% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.2 14.3799401198 85% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 52.19 48.3550499002 108% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.48 8.32208582834 90% => OK
difficult_words: 73.0 98.500998004 74% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.