The following is an excerpt from a speech given to the School Board about a change to the curriculum:
"Because the future will be dominated by technology, we must make four years of computer programming mandatory for all high school students. If our students take these classes, they’ll all be able to get high-paying programming jobs and lead fulfilling lives because software engineers and data scientists have the best job prospects and salaries. Therefore, we must educate our students so they can secure these kinds of jobs. Even if they pursue other careers, programming will still benefit them, given that all industries are becoming more technological."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this exerpt from a speech given to the School Board about a change to the curriculum it is stated that they are looking forward to make four years of computer programming mandatory for all high school students as the future will be dominated by technology and thses corses would help them get a good pay and live a fulfilling life. However, before this recommendation can be fully evaluated, we need some specific evidence.
First of all, the School Board mentions that the future will be dominated by technology but they don't specify which one and assume computer programming as the future technology. In fact, it seems that they don't even know about it and they are just speaking vaguely. There are other future technology as well - automobile, electronics, etc. But they take computer programming as granted. Before School Board puts up something as a compulsion on the high school students and that too for four full years, they need to examine the future scope of all the technologies not just merely one- computer programming. They need evidence about other technologies and their future scope as well before making such a harsh claim on the students.
Moreover, no one should try to predict the future and atleast not at the expense of childrens' dreams. As we have seen, all of a sudden, this coronavirus pandemic came out of nowhere and made us prioritize the medical facilities. Right now, the medical department is the highest priority for any country. If we go back two years back, no one could have predicted about the boom this sector has got all of a sudden. So, rather than making claims about the future and future scope of a sector and its employability, we should give the levege to the high school students to shape their own future, They must decide what they want to achieve rather than putting up something as a compulsion upon them.
The School Board also makes a bold claim about the future lifestyle of present high school students. According to them, getting a high paying programming job would lead to a 'fullfilling' life. This is an absurd claim to make as someone who is currently in the high school and is really interested in the arts; be it painting or writing novels, even if such a child gets a high paying job in the future but the job is not of their interest, they won't be able to live a fulfilling life. They would always have a remorse that they can't make money out of their interest, instead they have to work on something they don't like at all. This may even lead to a rise of grudge in their heart against their School Board in the future. The School Board needs evidence that each and every child in rhe School is really willing to do the four years programming course and also that they want a high paying programming job in the end.
In conclusion, the argument as it stands, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions such as the children would love these courses and want a career in programming. These extra evidence are required to fully evaluate the claims made by the School Board before they make these four years of programming mandatory for all the high school students. These evidences would make sure that the students really enjoy what they are doing and the shape these courses are going to give to their future.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 14 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 586 350
No. of Characters: 2681 1500
No. of Different Words: 241 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.92 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.575 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.449 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 77 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 27.905 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 13.925 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.333 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 98, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ill be dominated by technology but they dont specify which one and assume computer p...
^^^^
Line 2, column 206, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...technology. In fact, it seems that they dont even know about it and they are just sp...
^^^^
Line 4, column 528, Rule ID: CANT[1]
Message: Did you mean 'can't' or 'cannot'?
Suggestion: can't; cannot
...y would always have a remorse that they cant make money out of their interest, inste...
^^^^
Line 4, column 611, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ead they have to work on something they dont like at all. This may even lead to a ri...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, moreover, really, so, well, in conclusion, in fact, such as, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 19.0 11.1786427146 170% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 13.6137724551 73% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 58.0 28.8173652695 201% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 75.0 55.5748502994 135% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2729.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 582.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.68900343643 5.12650576532 91% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.91168771031 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.51426266139 2.78398813304 90% => OK
Unique words: 246.0 204.123752495 121% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.422680412371 0.468620217663 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 841.5 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 13.0 4.96107784431 262% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 26.0 22.8473053892 114% => OK
Sentence length SD: 75.8603000519 57.8364921388 131% => OK
Chars per sentence: 124.045454545 119.503703932 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 26.4545454545 23.324526521 113% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.22727272727 5.70786347227 92% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.414845924745 0.218282227539 190% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.129099623965 0.0743258471296 174% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.12580171994 0.0701772020484 179% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.266695953183 0.128457276422 208% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.114074340068 0.0628817314937 181% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 62.01 48.3550499002 128% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.22 12.5979740519 81% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.07 8.32208582834 85% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 19.5 12.3882235529 157% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.4 11.1389221557 111% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.