The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.
"Two studies of amphibians in Xanadu National Park confirm a significant decline in the numbers of amphibians. In 1975 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 2002 only four species of amphibians were observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. One proposed explanation is that the decline was caused by the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1975. (Trout are known to eat amphibian eggs.)"
Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.
The author here has proposed an explanation for decreased number of amphibian species as well as their individual decrease. This piece of information, though interesting, is nonetheless not very convincing. More information is required to substantiate the claim that the decline is due to the release of trout in the waters of Xanadu National Park.
One of the questions that come first to the mind is: what kind of climatic conditions have been there during the span of 27 years from 1975 to 2002? As the living creatures are affected by the climatic conditions, this factor is needed to be considered. Different species of amphibian may have different reaction to changing climate. Increasing temperature may affect them adversely. It is very important to take into account the unfortunate effects of weather on individual species.
Another explanation for declining number of individuals may be the competition for food. As Xanadu being a National Park, there may be limited space for species to live. Being in a common place the amphibians may have vied for food. The apes are many a times known for killing one another for food. Being killed by the peers may be a probable cause for the decrease.
There could be other explanations too: As Xanadu is a National park, it has numerous visitors each day. The mindset of visitors for treating the amphibians affects their existence. Garbage thrown into water pond, kind of food supplied by visitors in the pond etc may have affected them. Moreover a research for a malady should be adopted. Maladies have destroyed many species before. The same reason may be for decrease in the number of amphibians in Xanadu National Park also.
Thus, there are many alternative explanations for the dramatic reduction of amphibians. Editor’s proposal stands inadequate due to lack of supporting evidence. Had he proven that the number of trout released was higher in numbers as compared to the number of amphibians in the water, his claim could be considered plausible. As author has failed to do so, his proposal is not able to convince readers.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 346 350
No. of Characters: 1700 1500
No. of Different Words: 179 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.313 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.913 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.741 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 126 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 97 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 76 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.043 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.054 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.609 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.273 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.066 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 7, column 288, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...in the pond etc may have affected them. Moreover a research for a malady should be adopt...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 297, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'research'.
Suggestion: research
...nd etc may have affected them. Moreover a research for a malady should be adopted. Maladie...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 473, Rule ID: ALSO_SENT_END[1]
Message: 'Also' is not used at the end of the sentence. Use 'as well' instead.
Suggestion: as well
...r of amphibians in Xanadu National Park also. Thus, there are many alternative ex...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, so, thus, well, kind of, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 0.0 11.1786427146 0% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 3.0 13.6137724551 22% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1752.0 2260.96107784 77% => OK
No of words: 346.0 441.139720559 78% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.06358381503 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.31289638616 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.80992046961 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.526011560694 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 550.8 705.55239521 78% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 22.8473053892 66% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 30.5313375221 57.8364921388 53% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 76.1739130435 119.503703932 64% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.0434782609 23.324526521 64% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47826086957 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.20758483034 61% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 8.0 4.67664670659 171% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.187263892348 0.218282227539 86% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0595393528049 0.0743258471296 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0693042802806 0.0701772020484 99% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.120328225333 0.128457276422 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0530859352648 0.0628817314937 84% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 9.9 14.3799401198 69% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 48.3550499002 116% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 12.197005988 75% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.48 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.4 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 11.1389221557 72% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.