The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 per cent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
In this letter, the author concludes that work experience is a key element towards the success of a student. However, the author supports the argument with the three assumptions that, if not substainsted, dramatically weaken the persuasiveness of the argument.
First of all, the author presumes without evidence, that the survey which has been done has any credibility or reliability? However, this may not be the case. Perhaps, there may be the possibility that the participants of the survey have an internship experience and those who did another internship or left out with this one were not aware of the fact that any surveys are going on. The student who has completed the internship has only shown interest in the internship because they were happy with their result. Also, rest students may find different companies as their interest to complete their work.They may have not participated in this survey because they weren't interested or aware of the fact that this has been going or there may be a possibility of requirements and his suggestion that there will be a good after attending internship. Hence, wasting time without utilising it in a useful manner would not lead to a good career.
Second of all, there is no evidence which has given for the statement every student would be getting a work for their interest. Is there any evidence behind this statement?There may be a possiblities the students who took internship from the place would have intrested in joining that company and that is the reason they found it interesting and suitable for them or those who has been invovled with different companies to explore their interest didn't join this company may be due to no interest of them towards this brand or inability to find the work related to their area of interest. If either of these scenarios is true, then the author's contention can be avoided if the person fails then the worst scenario can be possible.
Finally, would that internship offers flexible working hours. If that is the case there may be a possibility that more students will be interested in participating and find their interest. There may be some flaws which is hindering the new batch or old batch to follow it completely. May be they will be getting a better chance in the another company which has more flexibility than this. The author assumes that getting a good work experience surely leads to the job. If it is not true then the author assertion is invalid and the recommendation does little to convince.
In conclusion, it is good to get good internship and the interest does matter with that. No matter the name of a company, but experience is the things which all matters.
However, as it's stand flaw the argument relies on three unfounded assumptions that render it's conclusion unpersuasive at best and specious at worst. Thus, author needs to provide additional evidence regarding the benefits of the internship from the company which he has mentioned.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 464 350
No. of Characters: 2201 1500
No. of Different Words: 202 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.641 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.744 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.619 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 138 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 111 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 17.129 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.895 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.316 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.092 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 605, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: They
...s their interest to complete their work.They may have not participated in this surve...
^^^^
Line 1, column 664, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: weren't
...articipated in this survey because they werent interested or aware of the fact that th...
^^^^^^
Line 1, column 818, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...his suggestion that there will be a good after attending internship. Hence, wasti...
^^
Line 1, column 889, Rule ID: IN_A_X_MANNER[1]
Message: Consider replacing "in a useful manner" with adverb for "useful"; eg, "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
...ence, wasting time without utilising it in a useful manner would not lead to a good career. Sec...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 173, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...here any evidence behind this statement?There may be a possiblities the students who ...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 447, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: didn't
...ent companies to explore their interest didnt join this company may be due to no inte...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 636, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...er of these scenarios is true, then the authors contention can be avoided if the person...
^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 285, Rule ID: MAY_BE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'maybe' (=perhaps)?
Suggestion: Maybe
...h or old batch to follow it completely. May be they will be getting a better chance in...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, hence, however, if, may, regarding, second, so, then, thus, in conclusion, first of all
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 16.0 11.1786427146 143% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 47.0 28.8173652695 163% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 45.0 55.5748502994 81% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2254.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 460.0 441.139720559 104% => OK
Chars per words: 4.9 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.6311565067 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.7130713488 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 207.0 204.123752495 101% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45 0.468620217663 96% => OK
syllable_count: 697.5 705.55239521 99% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 97.6712219133 57.8364921388 169% => OK
Chars per sentence: 118.631578947 119.503703932 99% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.2105263158 23.324526521 104% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0988850249464 0.218282227539 45% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0340767724972 0.0743258471296 46% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0302101622652 0.0701772020484 43% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0582410353402 0.128457276422 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0296779393749 0.0628817314937 47% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.8 14.3799401198 96% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.44 12.5979740519 91% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.61 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 81.0 98.500998004 82% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.