The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agree that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford`s graduating art students had completed an internship. SkyDesigns, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student`s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The letter given to the chair of the art department gave a detailed explanation on the benefits of an internship at the local Skyway Designs company. However, the arguments are hardly sufficient to support an universal requirement of internship, and more research has to be done before such a bold regulation is put into effect.
Firstly, the effects of such an internship program on the future careers of graduated students is to be highly questioned. Even though 90 percent of students agree that participation helped their career chances, the minority that disagree cannot be left unconsidered. If only 40 percent of students can complete an internship, it is likely an arduous task for most, and may adversely affect students plans if the programs are to be enforced. Further all, companies in the labor market value an internship experience partly because the extra effort proves diligence and ability, a concept quite distant from something routine to all students. Without the responses from companies, it cannot be ascertained whether an obligated internship program would help or not.
Another break in the chain of reasoning is about the benefits of this given company. Assuming SkyDesigns is willing to accept swathes of students into their internships is already a bold assertion, as students applying for internships is the norm, and it would be inappropriate without entry filters of any kind. Even in the unlikely case that the companies many departments found the place for the students to join, not all of the students would find the policies of the company to their liking. Overall, the decision to fit everyone into the same routine is indeed a strange one, and some other reason must be given for this to be considered.
The final problem is with the company itself. According to the passage, in the nearby city of Linford it is one of the most successful design companies. However, without other references, the actual state of the company is difficult to pinpoint. If there are few designing opportunities in Linford, these accomplishments may not mean much in a wider point of view. The programs they offer are supposedly flexible, which is undoubtedly necessary for a student with much work to be done before graduation, but this flexibility is pointless if the hours are too long to be acceptable. More direct benefits to applying students must be given, such as unique opportunities to learn designing that are unavailable in class.
All in all, the arguments given to the art department needs to be much refined before it is convincing.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 423 350
No. of Characters: 2097 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.535 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.957 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.809 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 158 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 128 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 86 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 56 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.5 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.676 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.389 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.049 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 207, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'a' instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
Suggestion: a
...uments are hardly sufficient to support an universal requirement of internship, an...
^^
Line 4, column 422, Rule ID: ALL_OF_THE[1]
Message: Simply use 'all the'.
Suggestion: all the
...the place for the students to join, not all of the students would find the policies of the...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 6, column 678, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to design'.
Suggestion: to design
..., such as unique opportunities to learn designing that are unavailable in class. All i...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, as to, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 32.0 19.6327345309 163% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 7.0 11.1786427146 63% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 18.0 28.8173652695 62% => OK
Preposition: 61.0 55.5748502994 110% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2151.0 2260.96107784 95% => OK
No of words: 423.0 441.139720559 96% => OK
Chars per words: 5.08510638298 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.53508145475 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.89241928888 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.527186761229 0.468620217663 112% => OK
syllable_count: 675.0 705.55239521 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.76447105788 114% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 23.0 22.8473053892 101% => OK
Sentence length SD: 46.8514858718 57.8364921388 81% => OK
Chars per sentence: 119.5 119.503703932 100% => OK
Words per sentence: 23.5 23.324526521 101% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.16666666667 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 1.0 4.67664670659 21% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.131607750581 0.218282227539 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0454147582523 0.0743258471296 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0462059540769 0.0701772020484 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0793056979163 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.050987718881 0.0628817314937 81% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.3 14.3799401198 99% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 48.13 48.3550499002 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.3 12.197005988 101% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.54 12.5979740519 100% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.92 8.32208582834 107% => OK
difficult_words: 111.0 98.500998004 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.2 11.1389221557 101% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.