The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art department at the college.
"In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agree that participating in an internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40 percent of Linford`s graduating art students had completed an internship. SkyDesigns, located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in a student`s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation suggests that all students in the Linford College should be required to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation. However, there are three questions need to be answered. Otherwise, the recommendation will be doubted.
First, whether the departments of Skyway Designs are suitable for all the studen in Linford College? Because we know that many companies have their own preferance. Some may focus on modern designs while others focus on traditional designs. So even they can offer interships in all of their departments, there is a risk that their interships are not suitable for all the art students. For example, if Skyway Designs is a company focus on modern designs, the students majoring in traditional designs will find that their interships can not help them after graduation. The HR will ask them why they have interships which have noting to do with their major. So unless the company can provide evidence that its interships are suitable for students in all majors, the art department can not require all students to complete an intership.
Second, flexible working hours can not make students manage their studies and interships easily. It's better for the recommendation to point out whether this company accept working during night. Because we know that students usually have lots of classes to take during the daytime, it's impossible for them to go to the company and be absent on their classes. And many companies offer flexible woorking hours, but their intern students should work during the daytime, which means it's ridculous for a college student. If Skyeway Designs allow students to work during the night, everything will be fine for most of the students. The college usually has a little night classes, and students can have spare time to finish the internships in Skyway Designs.
At last, I wan to point out that the information the recommendation gives to us is not enough to make sure that such a internship can help students after their graduation. It should tell us whether Skyway Designs is famous all around the country or not. Because we know that many student may deside to live Linford City and seek for a job in a distant place. If Skyway Designs is only famous in this city since they work well in Linford. But if they are not famous all over the country, the experience of having a intership in Skyway Designs can not help those students who want to work far away from Linford.
In summary, while I fully understand the reason behind the recommendation. I withhold my approval of the recommendation until they can provide clear answers to the above questions.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 8 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 2153 1500
No. of Different Words: 189 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.882 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.592 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 160 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 120 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 65 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 37 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.174 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.452 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.565 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.317 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.526 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.139 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 102, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Because” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
... for all the studen in Linford College? Because we know that many companies have their ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 174, Rule ID: MASS_AGREEMENT[2]
Message: Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: 'focuses', 'focusses'.
Suggestion: focuses; focusses
...ies have their own preferance. Some may focus on modern designs while others focus on...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 665, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'classis'?
Suggestion: classis
... The college usually has a little night classes, and students can have spare time to fi...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 118, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...us is not enough to make sure that such a internship can help students after thei...
^
Line 7, column 513, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...r the country, the experience of having a intership in Skyway Designs can not hel...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, first, however, if, may, second, so, well, while, for example, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 43.0 28.8173652695 149% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 56.0 55.5748502994 101% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2205.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 441.0 441.139720559 100% => OK
Chars per words: 5.0 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.58257569496 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.6909689819 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.442176870748 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 665.1 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.70958083832 258% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 19.0 22.8473053892 83% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.4997210003 57.8364921388 72% => OK
Chars per sentence: 95.8695652174 119.503703932 80% => OK
Words per sentence: 19.1739130435 23.324526521 82% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.39130434783 5.70786347227 59% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 12.0 4.67664670659 257% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.119069095161 0.218282227539 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0405334262488 0.0743258471296 55% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0445100621498 0.0701772020484 63% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0677828513848 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0360494467968 0.0628817314937 57% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.7 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 60.65 48.3550499002 125% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.5 12.197005988 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.41 8.32208582834 89% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 9.6 11.1389221557 86% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.