The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art
department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
In the letter from Linford College Alumni, it is stated by the group of alumni that students' success after graduation is highly dependent on whether the student does an internship before he or she graduates. The alumni came to this conclusion based on the fact that "The Skyway Design" company being so eminent and 80 percent of businesses in Linford City uses their designs. However, before this recommendation can be properly evaluated following questions must be answered.
Firstly, do the 90 percent of students who said an internship is important involve significant number of arts students? In other words, there can be a skewed distribution across students from various departments who supported the recommendation of pursuing an internship before graduation. For example, the college contains 500 students to be graduated and without loss of generality, let us assume each department contains 100 students. And only 10 students from arts supported the idea and rest 440 members came from other departments. The 90 percent rule is still satisfied but the arts people seem to be least interested in internship and this point is also evident from the fact that only 40 percent of the students completed internship last year. If the above scenario is true, then the argument does not hold water.
Secondly, it is also stated that 80 percent of the businesses in City used Skyway's Design. Does that mean that it is the highest used percentage to claim that Skyway is the best option for all students? For example, the City can contain other organizations which have above 90 percent of City's businesses is occupied. In this scenario, the alumni suggestion to choose Skyway for an internship is not the best available option.
Thirdly, does work experience really play an important role in arts student's life? In other words, it is stated that work experience before graduation is important. It can be true that work experience before graduation doesn't matter for arts. But there is no enought evidence presented in order to support this point.
In conclusion, the argument, as it stands now, is considerably flawed due to its reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the alumni are able to answer the above questions, and provide more evidence (perhaps in form of a systematic research study), then it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of the recommention to suggest students to complete internship before graduation.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 399 350
No. of Characters: 2004 1500
No. of Different Words: 200 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.469 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.023 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.768 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 153 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 118 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 84 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.832 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.737 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.321 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 85, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'students'' or 'student's'?
Suggestion: students'; student's
...t is stated by the group of alumni that students success after graduation is highly depe...
^^^^^^^^
Line 25, column 220, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
... that work experience before graduation doesnt matter for arts. But there is no enough...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, really, second, secondly, so, still, then, third, thirdly, for example, in conclusion, in other words
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 9.0 11.1786427146 81% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 19.0 16.3942115768 116% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2097.0 2260.96107784 93% => OK
No of words: 398.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.26884422111 5.12650576532 103% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.46653527281 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.86648181787 2.78398813304 103% => OK
Unique words: 205.0 204.123752495 100% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.515075376884 0.468620217663 110% => OK
syllable_count: 630.0 705.55239521 89% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 6.0 4.22255489022 142% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 53.5808085707 57.8364921388 93% => OK
Chars per sentence: 110.368421053 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9473684211 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.42105263158 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.20758483034 134% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.126019835392 0.218282227539 58% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0382584346801 0.0743258471296 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0530785829479 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0720571842386 0.128457276422 56% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0787488493316 0.0628817314937 125% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.9 14.3799401198 97% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.18 48.3550499002 106% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.1 12.197005988 91% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.44 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 96.0 98.500998004 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.