The following letter is from a group of Linford College alumni to the chair of the art
department at the college.
“In a recent survey of college graduates, 90 percent agreed that participating in an
internship increased their chances of finding a job after graduation, but last year, only 40
percent of Linford’s graduating art students had completed an internship. Skyway Designs,
located in nearby Linford City, is the perfect company for students to intern with for a
number of reasons: They offer internships in all of their departments, so every student is
sure to find work that they are interested in. Additionally, their internships offer flexible
working hours. Finally, Skyway Designs is known for being one of the best in the design
business, as over 80 percent of businesses in Linford City have used the services of
Skyway Designs for their design needs. Given the vital role that work experience plays in
a student’s success after graduation, we recommend that our art department require all art
students to complete an internship with Skyway Designs before graduation.”
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order
to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are
reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate
the recommendation.
The above letter suggests that all art students should complete internship in Skyway Design before graduation as it is the best way to ensure after graduation success. However the rigidity of the above letter and its suspicious biasness towards a single firm means that we have to carefully scrutinize the above letter, and question whether the above mentioned recommendation is the only way towards success.
Firstly, we need to question the survey of college graduates. How many participants were in that survey? What were the questions asked? And why does the survey's result not match with reality. If 90 percent did agreed for internship why did only 40 percent complete internship. The letter above needs to address is glaring discrepency first before arguing any further that the students want internship.
The letter then goes on about the suitability of Skyway Design. While its location nearby Linford city does provide a convinience for student, as this means student will not have to spend too much time travelling to their internship location, their claim that they can provide internship in various fields needs to be further specified. There are of course a lot of disparate subjects within art and surely a single company cannot provide work for all those subjects so the specific subject needs to be specified. Also a single company cannot provide for all the art students of Linford College, it is just not practical. A company can not afford to take in that many interns. The number of interns that can be taken by Skyway Design needs to be specified.
Skyway Design cannot be the only company that provides internship opportunity. Surely there are other company's available. The claim of the letter that Skyway Design is the best design company, is not backed up by irrifutable facts. The letter just sites that 80 percent business in Linford City used their service, but what about other cities. You cannot name a company best just because of its dominance in one city. Maybe there are no other prominent company in Linford City resulting in the monopoly.
Overall, the letter above is too biased and rife with questions to argue in their favor. Perhaps internship could benefit some students, and perhaps Skyway Design is a good place for internship. But to suggest that all student complete their internship in just Skyway Design is not a pragmatic solution.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 395 350
No. of Characters: 1951 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.458 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.939 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.47 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 156 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 60 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.174 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.536 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.435 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.297 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 169, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...way to ensure after graduation success. However the rigidity of the above letter and it...
^^^^^^^
Line 1, column 260, Rule ID: A_PLURAL[2]
Message: Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean 'mean'?
Suggestion: mean
...spicious biasness towards a single firm means that we have to carefully scrutinize th...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 211, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: 'agree'
Suggestion: agree
...t match with reality. If 90 percent did agreed for internship why did only 40 percent ...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 515, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...specific subject needs to be specified. Also a single company cannot provide for all...
^^^^
Line 13, column 363, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[4]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'company the best'.
Suggestion: company the best
...t about other cities. You cannot name a company best just because of its dominance in one ci...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, may, so, then, while, of course
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 11.1786427146 72% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 27.0 28.8173652695 94% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 16.3942115768 61% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2005.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 395.0 441.139720559 90% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.07594936709 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.45809453852 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.56160000472 2.78398813304 92% => OK
Unique words: 185.0 204.123752495 91% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46835443038 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 621.0 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 59.4104622485 57.8364921388 103% => OK
Chars per sentence: 87.1739130435 119.503703932 73% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.1739130435 23.324526521 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.08695652174 5.70786347227 54% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.113058101367 0.218282227539 52% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0381370121215 0.0743258471296 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0417347237555 0.0701772020484 59% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0686937813884 0.128457276422 53% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0423740059223 0.0628817314937 67% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.1 14.3799401198 77% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.