The following is a letter to the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria.
"Erosion of beach sand along the shores of Tria Island is a serious threat to our island and our tourist industry. In order to stop the erosion, we should charge people for using the beaches. Although this solution may annoy a few tourists in the short term, it will raise money for replenishing the sand. Replenishing the sand, as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia, will help protect buildings along our shores, thereby reducing these buildings' risk of additional damage from severe storms. And since beaches and buildings in the area will be preserved, Tria's tourist industry will improve over the long term."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this letter, the author asserts that the head of the tourism bureau on the island of Tria should charge people for using the beaches to use the money they will get to prevent beach sand along the shores of Tria Island eroded. The author also argues that they should replenish the sand as was done to protect buildings on the nearby island of Batia. The author said that if beaches and building in the area will be preserved, Tria’s tourist industry will improve over the long term. These arguments seems valid at first, but we can find many flaws easily.
First, the author asserts that they need to charge people due to saving the beach sand and raising the money to keep the beach. However, the author overlooked the possibilities that charging people could bring more significant backfire. If they charge people who use the beaches, erosion of beach would decrease at first. But people might mind to go the beach due to expensive fee of entering the beach, thereby decreasing number of tourists may be critical threat to their island and their tourist industry.
Second, the author assumes that replenishing the sand could make positive effect to protect buildings along their shores as was done on Batia. However, evidence is needed to prove that it can bring the same effect in Tria. Tria and Batia might have different characters. They might have different geographical character and different heights of buildings, and different degree of be able to protect severe storms of each building. If the author proves the effect, he should more evidence that the comparison has been done in same condition.
Third, the author asserts that if beaches and buildings in the area are preserved, Tria’s tourist industry will improve over the long term. However, how can we assert this without considering other factors that can affect improvement of tourist industry of Tria? There are many factors that can make effects to improvement of tourist industry like economic situation, quality of services, weather and so on. If the author would like to increase profits in tourist industry, the author should look more aspects.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1729 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.857 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.286 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 47 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.84 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.824 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.357 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.552 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.142 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 507, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'seem'.
Suggestion: seem
...ove over the long term. These arguments seems valid at first, but we can find many fl...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 341, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'mind going', 'mind gonna'.
Suggestion: mind going; mind gonna
...uld decrease at first. But people might mind to go the beach due to expensive fee of enter...
^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, however, if, look, may, second, so, third
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 9.0 19.6327345309 46% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 22.0 12.9520958084 170% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 26.0 28.8173652695 90% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1791.0 2260.96107784 79% => OK
No of words: 356.0 441.139720559 81% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.0308988764 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.34372677135 4.56307096286 95% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.40952135181 2.78398813304 87% => OK
Unique words: 166.0 204.123752495 81% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.466292134831 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 528.3 705.55239521 75% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 8.0 8.76447105788 91% => OK
Subordination: 3.0 2.70958083832 111% => OK
Conjunction: 3.0 1.67365269461 179% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 17.0 19.7664670659 86% => OK
Sentence length: 20.0 22.8473053892 88% => OK
Sentence length SD: 42.2993942548 57.8364921388 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 105.352941176 119.503703932 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 20.9411764706 23.324526521 90% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.47058823529 5.70786347227 61% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.288070900113 0.218282227539 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0934000944632 0.0743258471296 126% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.093867987944 0.0701772020484 134% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.180855430719 0.128457276422 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.103250461801 0.0628817314937 164% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.7 14.3799401198 88% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 59.64 48.3550499002 123% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.89 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.82 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 98.500998004 73% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 12.5 12.3882235529 101% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.0 11.1389221557 90% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.9071856287 84% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.