The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
__________
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
In the letter written by the parent to the Kensington Academy, the parent concluded that the reason why the children did not enjoy their meals is that the food served by Swift Nutrition contains low-fat and low-calorie. While the conclusion made by the parent could be valid, it is based on some unfounded assumptions that, if not substantiated, would dramatically weaken the conclusion. Thus, the following three questions need to be properly answered in order to espouse the conclusion made by the parent.
Firstly, was there an agreement between Kensington Academy and Swift Nutrition on the type of meal to be served to students? The parent presumed that the school must have had an agreement with Swift Nutrition on the meal type. Perhaps the school just hired the private vendor due to poor management by the previous vendor without necessarily considering the quality of food the vendor would serve the students. It is also possible that the school is fully aware of and in support of the food served by the new vendor. If the above is the case, then the parent's conclusion has been significantly hampered.
Furthermore, does food containing low-fat and low-calorie translate directly into unenjoyable food for the students? The parent assumed that the reason why students do not enjoy their meal is because it contains low-fat and low-calorie. Perhaps, the students only complained because of the monotonous state of the meal and not necessarily because of the food content. Maybe they do not enjoy the meal because it is usually served late and in a 'cold state', thereby causing the students not to enjoy their meal. If the above holds true, then the parent should rather complain to the school management about fixing the dishing time of the meal.
Lastly, is replacing Swift Nutrition tantamount to a change in the meal served to the students? The parent believed that changing the vendor would result to an enjoyable meal for the students. Perhaps, food item containing low-fat and low-calorie are the cheapest to get and are in conformity with the school's standard. It is also possible that food containing low-fat and low-calorie are the healthiest food according to the school's nutritionist expert. provided that the above cases hold water, then the parents conclusion can not 'fly'.
In conclusion, the above three questions on the agreement between the Academy and the vendor, the food type that is enjoyable by the students, and whether replacing the vendor would lead to a change of meal course must be addressed in order that, the parents conclusion may 'hold water'.
Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 428 350
No. of Characters: 2117 1500
No. of Different Words: 166 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.548 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.946 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.628 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 115 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 82 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 53 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.778 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.651 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.398 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.591 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.158 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 554, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...dor. If the above is the case, then the parents conclusion has been significantly hampe...
^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 136, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ood for the students? The parent assumed that the reason why students do not enjo...
^^
Line 7, column 373, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ossible that food containing low-fat and low-calorie are the healthiest food acco...
^^
Line 7, column 428, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'schools'' or 'school's'?
Suggestion: schools'; school's
...re the healthiest food according to the schools nutritionist expert. provided that the ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 457, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Provided
...ing to the schools nutritionist expert. provided that the above cases hold water, then t...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 508, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...at the above cases hold water, then the parents conclusion can not fly. In conclusio...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 252, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'parents'' or 'parent's'?
Suggestion: parents'; parent's
...se must be addressed in order that, the parents conclusion may hold water.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, furthermore, if, lastly, may, so, then, thus, while, in conclusion
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 12.9520958084 85% => OK
Conjunction : 12.0 11.1786427146 107% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 20.0 28.8173652695 69% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2169.0 2260.96107784 96% => OK
No of words: 428.0 441.139720559 97% => OK
Chars per words: 5.06775700935 5.12650576532 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.548423998 4.56307096286 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69506180886 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 177.0 204.123752495 87% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.413551401869 0.468620217663 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 646.2 705.55239521 92% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 9.0 8.76447105788 103% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 19.7664670659 96% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 48.304149498 57.8364921388 84% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.157894737 119.503703932 96% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.5263157895 23.324526521 97% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.63157894737 5.70786347227 81% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 8.20758483034 85% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.361925197657 0.218282227539 166% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.124524368221 0.0743258471296 168% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.070220073689 0.0701772020484 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.213017994312 0.128457276422 166% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0767311340149 0.0628817314937 122% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.7 14.3799401198 95% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.3550499002 119% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.42 12.5979740519 99% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.86 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 85.0 98.500998004 86% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.