The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
Though it seems if Swift is not replaced with another vendor , there might be health consequences for Kensington students. But some questions need to be answered in order to persuade one to consider the statement. As how is the parent so sure that other vendor might not sell same food?.How can they even be sure all the students will get food from home?.So in order to put up a cogent case these questions must be answered first.
The parent states that ,If Swift is not replaced with another vendor health consequences for Kensington students might prevail. But how can they be so sure. Consider if the management hires a new vendor and they produce non healthy as well as not tasty food then it will cause another problem. The solution to a problem is not to eradicate the source. The Swift agency can be intimated to produce a bit tastier food.So replacing Swift Nutrition might as well not be a feasible solution to the problem.
The parent also states that the problem will cause the students to bring in there own food. It might very well be the case for his child maybe she can cook food for her child and send everyday but it might not be feasible for all. Consider for example the food in the cafeteria is of a very low cost. And food from outside costs more. So everyone might not be able to afford it. It can be all students still end up eating the same food in the cafeteria. Maybe if the author had provided some answer to the question one might have considered his point of view.
How can the author be so sure that students might end up not eating the cafeteria food. It might the case that the taste is new to them and as time pass they eventually get adapted to that taste. As the food is healthy that might be advantageous as well. Consider a person does not like a thing for first time. We all might have heard of subway many subway fans have stated that the hated the sub when the ate it for the first time. But they eventually adapted the taste of it and now they really love it. So the author should provide a reasoning that students would like the food in further time to come as well.
So in order to let one consider the authors statement. He might answer the above mentioned questions. As how the author is so sure that the new vendor might be better than this one. Or All students will bring there own food?.If the author answers all these questions one can take his statement into consideration and remove the current vendor.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 26 15
No. of Words: 458 350
No. of Characters: 1961 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.626 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.282 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.191 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 109 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 74 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 52 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 26 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.615 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.325 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.846 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.309 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.085 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 61, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...wift is not replaced with another vendor , there might be health consequences for ...
^^
Line 1, column 288, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: How
... other vendor might not sell same food?.How can they even be sure all the students ...
^^^
Line 1, column 356, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...l the students will get food from home?.So in order to put up a cogent case these ...
^^
Line 3, column 23, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...nswered first. The parent states that ,If Swift is not replaced with another ve...
^^
Line 3, column 417, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: So
...intimated to produce a bit tastier food.So replacing Swift Nutrition might as well...
^^
Line 5, column 77, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...lem will cause the students to bring in there own food. It might very well be the case fo...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 185, Rule ID: EVERYDAY_EVERY_DAY[3]
Message: 'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean 'every day'?
Suggestion: every day
...he can cook food for her child and send everyday but it might not be feasible for all. C...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 197, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...y eventually get adapted to that taste. As the food is healthy that might be advan...
^^
Line 9, column 37, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... So in order to let one consider the authors statement. He might answer the above me...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 103, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “As” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...t answer the above mentioned questions. As how the author is so sure that the new ...
^^
Line 9, column 210, Rule ID: THERE_OWN[1]
Message: Did you mean 'their own'?
Suggestion: their own
...an this one. Or All students will bring there own food?.If the author answers all these q...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 226, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: If
...All students will bring there own food?.If the author answers all these questions ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, may, really, so, still, then, well, for example, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 22.0 19.6327345309 112% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 29.0 12.9520958084 224% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 13.6137724551 81% => OK
Pronoun: 37.0 28.8173652695 128% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 38.0 55.5748502994 68% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2012.0 2260.96107784 89% => OK
No of words: 454.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.43171806167 5.12650576532 86% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61598047577 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.25706260491 2.78398813304 81% => OK
Unique words: 182.0 204.123752495 89% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.400881057269 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 621.9 705.55239521 88% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.4 1.59920159681 88% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 4.96107784431 101% => OK
Article: 4.0 8.76447105788 46% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 26.0 19.7664670659 132% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 43.7304309574 57.8364921388 76% => OK
Chars per sentence: 77.3846153846 119.503703932 65% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4615384615 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.11538461538 5.70786347227 55% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 12.0 8.20758483034 146% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 6.88822355289 73% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.67664670659 192% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.0816895406924 0.218282227539 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0307526191308 0.0743258471296 41% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0330068719449 0.0701772020484 47% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0574385123613 0.128457276422 45% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0191505939529 0.0628817314937 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 8.2 14.3799401198 57% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 71.14 48.3550499002 147% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 7.6 12.197005988 62% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 8.12 12.5979740519 64% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 6.43 8.32208582834 77% => OK
difficult_words: 56.0 98.500998004 57% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.