The following is a letter from the parent of a private school student to the principal of that school:
Last year, Kensington Academy turned over management of its cafeteria to a private vendor, Swift Nutrition. This company serves low-fat, low-calorie meals that students do not find enjoyable – my son and several of his friends came home yesterday complaining about the lunch options. While the intent of hiring Swift may have been to cause students to eat healthier foods, the plan is just going to cause students to bring their own, less healthy lunches instead of eating cafeteria food. If Swift is not replaced with another vendor, there will be serious health consequences for Kensington students.
The letter by the parent to the private school principal predicts that if the new private vendor, Swift nutrition, who was given the cafeteria management last year, is not replaced by other vendor , the students will start bringing their own, 'less healthy" lunches and may lead to serious health consequences. She posits that students do not find the food served by the new vendor, as a reason to support her prediction. The intent of the parent is good as he is worried about health of students but there are few questions that need to be answered before ascertaining the possibility of the prediction to come out to be true.
By reading the letter carefully, a very obvious question the comes to the reader mind is that , "How many students in the school do not like the served food?". The parent has although mentioned that his son and several of his friends came to him to complain about the lunch options, but the word 'several' is relative and ambiguous. It is possibility that a very small proportion of the school students actually find the food not enjoyable. The answer to this question can seriously damage the possibility of the prediction to be true. If in actual large number of students don't like the served food, the prediction might be true but the other case is not propitious for the assumption.
Even if we consider the answer to the previous question propitious to the prediction, i.e. the majority of students don't like the serve food. The question arises that "Is replacing the vendor the only solution to the problem?".Because the problem is with the food served by vendor and not with the vendor itself, It can be considered to improve the food by taking the case with vendor. The reasonability of the prediction depend on the answer to the question that "Whether there have been sufficient previous attempts to talk to the vendor to improve his food?". If there have been sufficient attempts for the purpose and have not yielded any result favourable to the students, the situation may favour the prediction and the opposite answer undermines the prediction.
Even if the vendor does not improve the food even after repetitive attempts by the school and that leads to the students bringing their own food, it can by no means posited that the food will be less healthy. It is pMoreover, even if there is consideration to replace the vendor, it should be enquired that "If any better vendors are available that can provide enjoyable and healthy food to students?". If the answer to this is a "NO", then the replacement of the vendor by the new one will not help in solving the problem.
Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 456 350
No. of Characters: 2102 1500
No. of Different Words: 184 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.621 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.61 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.519 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 105 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 30.4 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.032 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.399 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.399 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.181 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 197, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...st year, is not replaced by other vendor , the students will start bringing their ...
^^
Line 2, column 94, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ion the comes to the reader mind is that , 'How many students in the school d...
^^
Line 2, column 305, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...in about the lunch options, but the word several is relative and ambiguous. It is...
^^
Line 2, column 583, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
.... If in actual large number of students dont like the served food, the prediction m...
^^^^
Line 2, column 609, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...r of students dont like the served food, the prediction might be true but the oth...
^^
Line 3, column 117, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ediction, i.e. the majority of students dont like the serve food. The question arise...
^^^^
Line 3, column 237, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Because
...the only solution to the problem?'.Because the problem is with the food served by ...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 439, Rule ID: EN_A_VS_AN
Message: Use 'an' instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
Suggestion: an
...dents?'. If the answer to this is a 'NO', then the replacement of...
^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, but, if, may, moreover, so, then
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.6327345309 122% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 30.0 28.8173652695 104% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2213.0 2260.96107784 98% => OK
No of words: 453.0 441.139720559 103% => OK
Chars per words: 4.88520971302 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.61343653406 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.88658540788 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 195.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.430463576159 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 669.6 705.55239521 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 4.96107784431 121% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 9.0 2.70958083832 332% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.22255489022 24% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 30.0 22.8473053892 131% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 56.795383224 57.8364921388 98% => OK
Chars per sentence: 147.533333333 119.503703932 123% => OK
Words per sentence: 30.2 23.324526521 129% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.8 5.70786347227 49% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.170520372181 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0668496815109 0.0743258471296 90% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0723925868747 0.0701772020484 103% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.125522939732 0.128457276422 98% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0802727967814 0.0628817314937 128% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.7 14.3799401198 116% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 49.49 48.3550499002 102% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.67 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.19 8.32208582834 98% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 98.500998004 89% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.5 12.3882235529 149% => OK
gunning_fog: 14.0 11.1389221557 126% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.